Recent forum posts (all topics)

  • ADHD, bandwagons and being easily influenced? by: GailT 9 years 7 months ago

    Still trying to understand my now ex's  'ways' so I hope you don't mind another question.

    It always seemed to me that my ex never had an original thought of his own, he always seemed to be heavily influenced by others, or whatever bandwagon was passing at the time he could jump aboard onto.

    Everything from small trivial everyday stuff right up to big stuff like wanting to emigrate because a work mate moved.

    He would often throw his hat into the 'wrong' ring and end up soaking up whatever someone else said and if that someone wasn't the most balanced of people then he'd end up being led down a bad path. As an example - he gave up a good job because of this very situation. He soaked up everything that a particular (very negative) work mate said and jumped onboard his complaining bandwagon with little thought

    He wasn't happy with his job to start with but to be fair, he's been like this about every job he's ever had. However, he just emotionally reacted to the work mate's complaining and before we knew it, he had built up an emotional picture in his head about how awful his job and his employer really were and he quit.  He very much regretted it as soon as he had done it and tried to get his job back but it was too late. He admitted he had been foolish and he shouldn't have got so caught up with other people's thoughts but he hasn't learned from it and continues to do the same thing.

    I've just recently become aware of just how influenced he has been by a work mate about our relationship / breakup. He has been coming out with stuff (about me / money / what should happen now etc) that I know he would never have come up with on his own and tbh I think this person has swayed him more than he knows. The work mate doesn't know anything about me or our family or our finances yet that hasn't stopped him from voicing his opinion about what my ex should do.

    I can't help but feel if he had got into conversation with a more balanced person then perhaps he would have been influenced lin a less negative way and we could have worked through some of our issues.

    I realise it's all water under the bridge now but my non ADHD logical mind needs to go through a process of understanding before I am able to deal with it and move on.

    So, does any one recognise this tendency in themselves or their spouse? If so, were you / they able to recognise this was a 'thing' and could you / did you change it? 

    Once you were influenced / convinced of something, were you able to do a 'U-turn' and be able to change your thoughts or were they too fixed by then?

    I would still even now, love for him to agree to see a counsellor with me but he wont as he says he doesn't love me so there is no point. I believe love is a fluid emotion, it can ebb and flow like the tide and in long term relationships it can feel as if it's gone even although it may just be overwhelmed by life's crappy times.

    On the other hand, he believes you shouldn't have to work hard at relationships, if you need to work hard then they aren't right to start with. He just wants the fun happy stuff.

    Anyway, back to the question..........

  • ADHD / Cortisol Levels (reaction to stress) by: s00manyquestions 9 years 7 months ago

    Hey all.  Check this out.  I found it interesting and made sense to me and my previous decisions and actions as an adolescent and adult!!  (ps.  I was in the National Guard and deployed for a yr in 09.) and (there was a major devistating lost of our son last year) and (I just took that massive 'head' test and my doc was extremely shocked how low...wayyy lower than average my PTSD level was.)  With all the mentioned and ugly childhood.

    It'll make sense once you read it.  I hope it might give some insight into your lives..

    http://adhd-treatment-options.blogspot.com/2009/12/adhd-subtype-differen...

     

  • The Dark Void is Pulling me in.... by: s00manyquestions 9 years 7 months ago

    Thank g that I have cats, for now:  or I don't know if I would or could have gotten outta bed right now.  Now the battle of actually..packing and finishing a lot!!  I'm beginning to feel spaced...zoning out on the near by Fetzima pamplet...feeling that void that comes right before I retreat.  ...Ahhh Shit...I have it..the felling of light yet weighted null of existance.  I have this not so great 'gift' at times to 'shut down' my thoughts and be blank...empty...hollow space that could soon be followed by:  a stay in my notoriaous space..in my mind ( it's thought that I learned this coping skill early as a child).  Great..but it's now a beast of its owm.  Its not intentional or even requested ..most times.  I just go for the ride.  I don't know if any of this makes any sense.  But I'm trying to describe how I feel right now...right before I begin to withdrawl...from myself and reality.  Avoiding life and my feelings.  Avoiding the truth..??  Or 'just' panic.  is it ADHD causing this panic...my life...the fact that I have a few day left.  to get out.   Or simply the fact that I"m waiting for y first dose of ADD kicks in.  I'm sure there are many coping or whatever...dealing or something but I dont have these 'tools' yet and honestly...Right NOW..trying really hard....Really hard right now to focus while "I" my brain...thoughts fight for survival.  AHH  Bkahdfj!!

    Before diagnosis:  I would have immediately gone back to bed...staring at nothing..but its the wait for the ADD to kick in that keeps me up...and yes:  writing my thoughts is extremely helpful.  To examine where I am and what I feel...etc.  k.  OMG...it feels sooo weird. knowing and actually 'feeling' or trying to describe what is happening vs just spacing...''??  is this:  being here...being present?   My body is up..but I am still fighting to gain 'control' over my brain.  it's still not my own.  You know that 'clarity' that happens..the Fog being lifted' when you first take meds...??  Remember how amazing it was!?  It's weird.  The cloud 'has lifted.' BUT its like I can just SEE the Clarity of the void...???

    I don't even know what I'm even trying to say.  I don't expect you too.  But of ALLL the 'others' out there...I think I'm in the right spot to 'sound crazy'.  Oh.  how many times I've wished I could just have someone in my shoes for a day...or a few hours...they'd probably just IMPLODE!!

    Lifted the blinds and now....here I go.  I think if I just start moving ..things will happen.

     

    Thanks

     

  • "Coming out of the Closet" by: s00manyquestions 9 years 7 months ago

    Any suggestions/verbage that I can use now that I'm going to eventually have to tell "them".?

  • Do ADHD father's angry outbursts affect children? by: Best2You 9 years 7 months ago

    I'm interested in hearing from anyone but especially people with teenagers or older children on how/if an ADHD father's low frustration tolerance and angry outbursts have affected their children. I have two young ADHD children and wonder if seeing their father's reactions will affect them in the long run. I think the children need patience and calm voices which my husband with untreated ADHD has trouble providing sometimes. Husband's sudden outbursts can be about anything from other drivers, long lines, people/cars moving slowly, spilled water/food, etc.

  • Priorities by: jennalemone 9 years 7 months ago

    Here is a difference between an ADDer who is trying and and ADDer who is not trying:

    "There’s a difference between someone who treats you like a priority and someone who treats you as an option."

    Someone who cares about you communicates honestly and sincerely even though he makes mistakes.  We all need to come clean about our mistakes.

  • Frustrated and slowly approaching my last straw... by: hawaiianbluemoon15 9 years 7 months ago
    Im the one with ADHD in the relationship. Or the one that has been diagnosed anyway. Im writing here because I have nowhere else to turn without being judged. I'm tired of wanting to say something and not doing it out of fear of starting an argument. If there is one thing I just cannot handle in this world, its my loved ones not speaking to me and being angry at me. For example tonight my bf gets home from work and asks me what I did today. I answered with my usual daily chores along with jokingly saying I wanted to cut my foot off (I recently was bit by a fire ant and my foot has been itching REALLY BAD all day long). Then he responded with I'm glad you didnt. Then I asked him what if I didn't have any legs, arms what if I was blind, bald etc. He answered with his usual funny joking answers, but thats not what I was after. I wanted to know if he would still love me, think of me as being attractive, and still want to be with me if I was any of those things. He wasn't getting the point (or so it seemed), so I told him if he didnt have any arms or legs or was in a wheelchair, I would still be here and loving him as much as I do now. I wanted clarification. Every girl wants clarification every now and then. Why is it impossible for men to understand that?! I wanted to keep pursuing. But I knew if I did, we'd be in a different situation right now. I'm so tired of feeling like I can't talk to him about something that is bothering me without causing a fight. I don't know what to do. Frustrated Floridian
  • Why am I so sad when I know it's bad?! by: GailT 9 years 7 months ago

    My partner of almost 18 years now, is chomping at the bit to leave. He wanted to leave then agreed to stay to help support our daughter then changed his mind again. Now, when our lease is up soon, he will be off. He 100% has ADHD but was only unofficially diagnosed when our daughter was officially diagnosed. It was recommended that he go through the diagnostic process himself to make it official but he never did and has remained in denial ever since. He reckons he's fine and it's everyone else that has the problems.

    It's a long boring story and no, we don't have a 'normal' loving relationship so why on earth do I feel so bad? I *should* be the one who is chucking him out, not the one who feels we should be trying harder to sort all this out. He displays classic ADHD traits and is difficult to live with. He has caused so many issues in our lives that most people would have chucked the towel in ages ago, He is incredibly self centered and is largely unable to see any perspective other than his own. We haven't been intimate in well over a year, he can't even speak to me in a normal tone of voice and he does nothing to involve himself in any of life's normal day to day family stuff as that is just too boring. Don't get me wrong, I have also been responsible for a lot of our difficulties but I have held my hands up and owned my stuff and apologised for it. He hasn't done the same. He says he doesn't love me and although he reckons he loves our daughter, his actions say otherwise. She will suffer greatly if he walks out simply because of the finances. (We have a very complicated financial situation and me and the kids will have to move and our daughter will have to leave school in this area because of this.), I don't want to go into details and I have got advice from a financial advisor so I do know the accurate ins and outs.

    So, knowing that he has already emotionally detached from me/us and that he seems to value himself more than his daughter or her education (she's at an important time in her schooling and also only has 2 years to go), why on earth am I still hoping I can change his mind and make him see a child and nearly 18 years is worth fighting for? I wish I could be as 'bolshie' or determined as some of the posters on here but the reality is, I'm pathetic and I am cracking up.

    I feel as if I've spent my life being there for him and I'm now being dumped and dismissed without a second thought even although he has largely been the shit over the years and I've been ridiculously reasonable. 

    I feel as if this is so unfair and I am so frustrated that he doesn't see that. He refuses to even address the ADHD issue and he's not interested in trying. Even if he would accept how this is going to affect our daughter  then that would be something. How can anyone chuck their kid to the curb like he is doing? He says he can support her even if he lived elsewhere but he has no clue about the finances. He never has, he was in debt when I met him and I've sorted the money out our whole lives together, so he has no real take on the realities. There is no way we can divide our finances and successfully run two homes. Our daughter will be the one that suffers. She too has ADHD as well as anxiety and depression so this is hitting her (and her education) hard.

    Maybe this is the wrong place for this post. Sorry, just feeling really low. I hate ADHD with a vengeance, it's got too tight a hold on the man underneath who I fell in love with. I am finding this all so hard and our daughter has mental health problems now because of all this, she is failing at school and has anxiety attacks and depression. Her therapist recommended her Dad and I go to couple counselling but he isn't interested and just wants out.

    #feelingreallysad

    ​Has anyone ever brought their relationship back from the brink when their ADHD partner feels like the love has gone? Or do I just give up and try to deal with the sadness and loneliness and try to cope with the fallout with regards to our daughter?

     

  • Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer Triangle by: kellyj 9 years 7 months ago

    I ran across this website by Lynne Forrest the other day and when I read her descriptions of this psych- model it really was enlightening. ( I had one of those "Holy Shit!" this is good stuff moments )  I'm not endorsing anyone here or trying to make recommendations to anyone.....or assuming that this will be helpful or not for anyone else. (I found the sight randomly when I was searching for some things I was curious about)....but what I got out of it really helped answer a lot of questions ( or understand better? ) to many things I can see in myself and other people.  I find that when this happens for me, it gives me more perspective and consequently..... more compassion.  Better said....it helps me change anger to compassion and that is never a bad thing. 

    I wasn't even sure where I should put this topic here in this forum because it answered so many questions that I have had concerning:  anger, communication, intuition, memory and just simply being totally baffled at times when I have been confronted with certain people that seem to change personalities right in front of my eyes.....sometimes within the same conversation or even within the same sentence????  What I realized after reading this was that I wasn't so far off the mark but I couldn't put a name on what I was seeing until now.  This also include myself in so many situation I can think off when I really look closely to how I felt at the time and my behavior that followed.  Instead of trying to interpret this for anyone else who might be interested I'll just leave it here for you to decide for yourself......but I immediately thought of all the posts and questions here on this forum that might possibly be explained from this point of view.  I realize that not everyone responds to these things the way I do and it might not for you.  I have found however, that the more ways I can see the same thing ( explained differently)....the better I am able to understand and see these things myself and be less baffled overall!  lol

    The one conclusion that I have made quite some time ago about myself regarding my ADHD compared to before I was diagnosed  is.......that possibly anyone  who has some kind of disability, disorder or handicap ( I know handicap is not PC anymore but I still think it has it's place in the dictionary... thinking like in golf here) or anything that makes them stand out in any way from the norm.......the likely hood of feeling like a victim to it at some point is very high.  I know for myself....this is absolutely true and  I can use all the help I can get!  lol           

        http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/

  • Newly Diagnosed - Freshly DUMPED - First Post - I CAN'T EVEN GET A POST OUT RIGHT!! ...sad by: s00manyquestions 9 years 7 months ago

    Hi everyone.  So...here I am:  trying to sit, stop prolonging... and write this post (again).  Last night.  When I found this site..I thought:  Wow!  The story of my life and found momentary comfort-being understood.  It soon was followed with fear and anxiety; and a world of questions or moreso:  guidence at this point.  Oh yeah...sorry..so I wrote and replied to a post that hit me expecially hard.  And somehow, right when I got done with a surprisingly long response, I deleted or lost it all.  Sigh...REALLY!?  Right now...of all the times when I'm reading about my (challenging) ADHD life, here, I couldn't even get that right.  ....breath.... Ok.  I'm back.  

    The original post was regarding a non ADDer who was dating an ADDer and was wondering if she should break up with him.  It got pretty intense.  A lot of angry and frustrated spouses/others out there...Seeking santuary in this site for a safe place to be heard and understood.

    I don't even know where to begin.

    Do go wayy back to the start, childhood abuse:  physically and mentally, POOR and starving, and Adopted from Asia at an older age than normal.  Old enough that from the first time I stepped off the plane into the US..I was weighed with baggage.  I could go on that forever too but lets move one..At age 19, I started to date a 29 yr old man.  We were together for 8.5 years!  : : The last 5 yrs where pretty much mental manipulation and mind control ---He had/has a signifcant Porn Addiction which he was NOT seeker help.  I cant even discribe the mental "F" I went thru...trying to help...be patient and understanding.  Oh yeah!!  Can't forget:  he somehow convinced me to also get a night job, after my full time day job.  Night job:  Stripper!  Ever mans dreams...huh!?  Dating a 19yr old stripper.  ..for his 30th B-Day, he told me he wanted to have a three some....him, me, 2 of his friends, which I knew and whoever I can confince at the strip club.  So.  Happy Birthday. Somewhere in there, he convinced me to move to Madison WI for awhie (working outta sate for awhile).  So I quite both jobs and amlessly followed this man into an absolute new environment with no plans.

     I came back home:  Jobless and lost.  I entered this dark dark place in my world that overcame me and I couldn't change it.  I did a lot of rec drugs and made art.  I didn't leave my appartment for 6 mo!!!  One day, I woke up: REALLY pumped w anger and decided to go outside...into the world.  I got therapy for the years of manipulation and mind F (never good for an adolesent girl n esteem).  Suddenly, as quick as it came...I then decided to go back to school that I've been trying to finish forever!!!  Short lived.  Nothing but tonz of student loans.  I found I could only do really well in One of my classes.  All the rest, I somehow erased them of something. .....     so ........... After the end of school...the darkness came again. ( At that time the older man and I were still living together and more just "friends".) - Dont judge!  My minds been played around with for so long.  ...anyways... I sat in the darkness (which I have now been reading into ADHD paralaysis)  - this is sooo true for me.  Transitions are the "END" of me and appearently is my trigger.  .......again.... suddenly one day with the same urgency of anger:  I decided to join the National Guard!! ! YUP.  Sure did.  So there I was:  'stable' again.  I did some independant work for the older guy ( had to --- went to school for and paid really well), and had the Guard money to help.  Life was good.  Life was sunny and I drove with windows down, heat cranked (still too early for it but it was nice) and blaring happy music on my way home.

    My life was stable..I had the excitement of many men - (2) - complicated but I only 'turned' monogomous with this last boyfriend. ... and the inevitable happened.  Deployment.  Yeah...Iraq for a year.  My mind changed dramatically and now I was working full time at the armory.  It was a crazy ...long and stressful time preparing.

     

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