Sometimes it is not good to just keep handling things and accepting unfairness and accepting negligence and lowering your expectations to accept irresponsibility and lack of love and doing extra work yourself because someone is not willing/able to do their share. Sometimes things are unfair and you just WANT change even if you know you can't change them to be the way you would like. 

I used to be fun and a good mom and a good wife.  Strong and smart and funny and dependable and had lots of friends.  I used to enjoy so many things and feel good most of the time. I was talented and a team player. What happened to me?  I don't have the confidence I once had.  I don't have the sense of humor or even appreciation for things I once had.  I am irritated and tired. I worked too hard. I am lonely and suspicious. I feel ugly and probably look it. I am overwhelmed with financial worries even though I am educated and worked very hard and saved and invested.

Sometimes an angry outburst is necessary just to remind yourself that you are alive and you need to be heard.  It sometimes ISN'T WRONG to be angry and let it show! It IS WRONG to be nice in some situations.

Stuffing and compromising is not good for your SOUL!  I have passion and emotions and feelings and pride!  I get to find and enjoy the happy, carefree, personable, lovable soul that was in my body somewhere long ago.   It is not going to happen if all I do is manage and quietly compromise. I AM ANGRY and not backing down!  FINALLY - GLORY BE!

My wifes ADHD symptoms seem to have DRAMATICALLY increased just after the birth of our child (he is now 11).  Post partum depression was why we sought a counselor and she was diagnosed...she obviously had had it all along, but since then it seems to have gotten worse. Is that logical? Of course,it COULD just be that the daily rigors of caring for a child, im sure that has something to do with it, but Im wondering if it might be more than that...perhaps related to hormonal changes.  any clinical relationship between the two? 

I am dating ADHD boyfriend for 1 year, despite the ups and downs, I love him so much. I always blame it's his ADHD behavior drives me nut. Recently I found I am the clingy one who possibly getting obsessive. I don't know what to do.

Just a quick background of my story, I don't have much experience in relationship, he is the only long term/serious one I've ever have. As a characteristic of ADHD - hyper focus, we spent so much time together in the beginning of the relationship. I am madly in love that he is my world my everything. We did so many interesting things together, traveling, trying out new things and I stay over in his place regularly. Of course in between, there is times he got emotion swing and anger issue. But we got it through I keep telling myself it's ADHA not him.

Last week he got really stressed at work, he shut down himself, disappear, isolated himself. He text me said he is busy, and later called me in anger saying he is busy why I can't stop harassing him. I am shocked - harassing? I call/email/text to show I care for you so much you call it harass? He used to call me everyday one day, it stops abruptly so I check - in case he is unwell or anything - that's "harassment"? And I found that he keeps updating his fb, perhaps he is busy at work but definitely not THAT busy??? I am upset - I did nothing wrong. Why I have to suck it up all his rude ADHD behavior?

As usual I tell myself to be considerate and understanding - it's his ADHA, not him. I talk to my friend about my frustration. All I ask for from him is to connect, at least one call a day, is that too much? it that so hard??? I feel so worthless when disconnect from him. I feel being penalized for wrongdoing. My friend said "don't you think you are too clingy? it's not ADHA, a normal man needs his own time." I CAN give him space but what I ask for is not disconnect, disappear without reason that leaves me worried. Why can't he do this for me? 

Then I google some relationship blog, I was shock that I could be the crazy one to ask for attention, overly attached all the time. It's a bit hard for me to change as I am very dependent on him - but my point it, he made this happen by giving me hyper attention during our dates, he made me fall in love with him crazily. He turned me into a super caring person who remind him on chores and turns it to my responsibility to take care of him. Now he build up his wall all of a sudden that he needs time himself. I am going through two extremes, either a center of him or abandoned. Does anyone feel the same way?

I know at the end of the day, I love him. I know he loves me. I trust him. I want to make our relationship work but I am not good at handle my frustration and loneliness. Is that because of ADHA or just me?

I'm thoroughly confused!

Ok here's the thing:

My husband's 43rd bday is tomorrow.  My 5 year old is very excited and has been planning to make a bday cake for weeks.  We had a get together last weekend with friends, one of whom also had a july bday, so DD and I made cupcakes and decorated them for THAT celebration.  Now tomorrow is the actual DAY of DH's bday and my DD wanted to have a 'family' party.  we have balloons, silly string, noise makers etc... a few days ago, DH informed me that we have to go to a potluck with people who are also fellowship recipients for this summer's research thing-a-ma-jigger.  I told him that DD had been planning a party, and asked if we should just bring the bday cake to the potluck.  He is shy, and easily embarrassed, so I assumed he'd say no, which he did:  "I dont' really know any of these people, so No." is what he told me.

We are on an extremely tight budget this summer, so I did NOT buy necessary items for cake baking for tomorrow because he'd veto'd the whole cake thing.  But then tonight as I was getting the kids ready for bed he announced that he was going to go to the store and asked, "ok, what do you want? cake mix? what kind?" Since he told me he didn't want a bday cake in front of these strangers,  I had changed the plan with my DD and we were going to instead make him a surprise pancake breakfast, but I needed maple syrup, which i'd planned to get tonight.  So I told him to just get maple syrup.  He looked at me like I was nuts, so I wrote out an explanation on a piece of paper so DD wouldn't hear and get upset that I gave away the surprise: 'I was going to do a breakfast bday thing since you didn't want the cake at the potluck - but if you want a cake at the potluck that's fine.'  He let out a bunch of exasperated sighs and said, "JUST TELL ME WHAT TO GET!!!"  I started to panic, because I'd thought i was perfectly clear, and was confused.  I just said, "I'm sorry.  I really, really don't understand.  I thought you didn't want a cake at the thing." and he said, "Well, they said to bring dessert." and I said, "Yes, and you told me (and the kids) that we'd bring a watermelon."  he replied, "well, we can bring a watermelon AND a cake.  It'll be fine."  All of this was in a very impatient, angry tone that I could see and hear but had NO clue what it meant or why he was so annoyed with me. 

finally I just told him to get a cake mix, and some vanilla frosting.  He then decided that it was too late to go to the store and he'd go in the morning.  I said, "But... if you are going in to work at 9, why do you need to go to the store?  I've got plenty of time to go tomorrow..."  He just got annoyed again.

What did I do wrong?  And what should I do tomorrow?!?  Should I do the cake or not?  I CAN'T do the pancake thing now because i've got no syrup.  I can't get out early enough to buy some and have everything ready by the time he's got to leave.  Why did he change his mind all of a sudden???  And if he did just change his mind, why didn't he just say that?