Recent forum posts (all topics)

  • Advice needed on how to live with an abusive adhd/add spouse? by: hislifesong 13 years 2 months ago

    I originally posted this in the wrong area (sorry for re-post!)

    These stories sounds like my marriage in a nutshell, with the exception that I didn't know about his "condition" when we met. The only way I found out about it, was AFTER we said our "I-Do's". I almost feel cheated. I remember him telling me prior to marriage about all the relationships that didn't last more than a couple of months, within the last year or so, but hey, I was in love, so it didn't really "click" with me. Looking back now, had I not been so blinded by love, I would've been able to see that something just wasn't right with him, and that all those short relationships he was in, that ended badly, was probably a result of his ADD!  His mom told me after the marriage was finalized, just how BAD things were with him, and I'm left thinking just how much worse they were going to get. We're on our 2nd year of marriage, and we just had a baby earlier this year! After reading some of the replies on here, I am now intensely worried that our daughter, who at the moment is only 8 months old, is going to have this!

    A typical day for us would be me sleeping til about 9am, until our daughter wakes up (this is on the days that I don't work, which right now is M-W-F), and him getting up @ 5am to get ready for work, which he doesn't have to be there until 7am - we live less than 10 minutes away, I never understood why he wakes up so early, until i was reading some symptoms of ADD. On one of his "good" days, he'll come in and kiss me goodbye, but normally, it's him waking me up, asking me where HE put his keys = I NEVER know this! He continues to get frustrated, and to point of calling me names, until I agree to wake up and find his stuff for him! And I usually am the one who finds his keys, and even then, when I find them for him, he gets sometimes even angrier worse! At this point, he's gone beyond normal frustration, and either/or both, will start swearing, raising his voice (he's woken the baby from her sleep before because of his outbursts of anger & frustration) and saying he's a "piece of **it husband; can't do anything; etc", or he'll do his most common, throws his hands up in the air and say, "why the **ck did you even wake up! You make me feel like **cking piece of **it! You're **cking **tch!"  After his outburst, which has lasted 30 minutes before, he'll scramble and blame me that I made him late to work, and he'll run out the house in a frenzy, as he's running late to work!  ...... 

    As my morning begins around 9am, when the baby wakes, he'll send various texts thru-out the day, usually in the morning around 930am, blaming me that he was late to work. Next time I'll talk to him (via voice or text), is at his lunch-break, where he'll normally text me and ask how the baby is doing, or text to me of what a piece of **it wife i am, and that i'll never amount to ever full-filling the "wife" role!  When he's at work, I'm the one who: cleans the house, does the laundry, does the dishes, picks up his dirty clothes that he's laid NEXT TO the laundry basket (NEVER IN - it's ALWAYS beside it, but never in = Huge pet peeve of mine) though i'll repeatedly tell him to put the dirty laundry IN the basket, it's never done...I have to be the one who takes out the trash, cleans the toilet that i asked him to do the night before, mow the lawn, pick up groceries, the list could go on and on...and that's not even including "mommy duties" for the baby.  ......

    Next that I'll talk to him, or see him will be when he gets home from work, or right before he leaves. He'll usually call me to gripe me out over the phone...usually pertaining to some bill of sorts. Now I will acknowledge and admit that I'm not the best on the market, when it comes to bills. I will pay them, but with my job, I don't get paid a whole lot, and it's only twice/mnth. This can spark any number of arguments - whether or not I paid the (particular one he's referring to) bill at the exact time he wanted it paid at (exact, like 2:37pm that afternoon). It will usually start out as frustrations over the phone call, resulting in him slamming the phone down. I have nothing to look forward to, as when he gets home, it starts in with him name-calling me, swearing at me, raising his voice and releasing the anger monster from his cage! He doesn't do it since we moved into our rental house, but he used to get so angry that he'd punch holes into the walls. I am not going to lie, I worry about his anger outbursts towards me...he's very verbally abusive towards me, and he hasn't hit me, as of yet, but him punching holes in the doors/walls, does make me worry for myself...and even worse off for our daughter. After a blood-bath of verbal swearing and name calling to me, usually about an hours worth, he exhausts himself, and will plop down on the livingroom floor, and sleep for who knows how many hours - could be 4, could be 6...

    And his parenting skills...I dunno. Maybe this is the ADD too, it all starts to look the same to me. I'll give this past Sunday as an example. He complains that during the week, he never gets to see our daughter, as he's always working, and then by the time he gets home, he's so tired from working, that he just wants to rest...so weekends are his time to spend with the baby. Sunday at church, he's too busy texting who-knows, to even care about what's being preached in the sermon, and when I go to ask him later, he can't remember what was being said - duh! because he wasn't paying attention - he was more engrossed in his texting, and surfing the net on his phone! When we get home from church, he sets the baby in her busy chair (note: she's to the point of crawling & wanting to go places, not just sit still! = she hates that chair!), and proceeds to plop down on the living-room floor, read the paper and fall asleep. Our daughter on the other hand, is sitting in her chair, screaming at the top of her little lungs. He asks me why she's crying, I explain that she prolly doesn't like being in that chair, and would rather be held, or spend the precious weekend time, with her dad! He reacts badly, by saying "this will shut her up!" and sticks her binky in her mouth, and continues to do what he was previously. This, above all else, but prolly runs for a tie with the verbal abuse, is the most annoying, and upsets me the most! If I weren't there to tell him "what to do" as a parent, he'd let her 1) scream until she fell asleep, or lost her voice; 2) starve, or just ONLY feed her bottles (as an adult, can we live off water alone?! It's the same with our baby, she's eating solids now, and her schedule is on the fridge of when she eats & how much) = he'll feed her nothing but bottles if i'm not around.

    I feel I've already said so much...I could go on and on...but I'm to the point now, as I was telling our friends the other night (him not present), that I'm so close to getting a legal separation from him...I can't take his constant ratting me out (for nothing), swearing at me (in front of the baby) and name calling = these constant/daily anger outbursts are more than I can handle!  From reading others' posts on here, I'm expected to deal with it for the rest of my marriage, which I can't! And to hear that it will only get worse!?  He's on medication - but with him, if he doesn't IMMEDIATELY feel something within a day or so of being on it, he runs back to the doctor, asking to be switched to a different medication. Believe me, when I say, he's burnt alot of bridges with doctors, because they tire of his never-ending bouncing back and forth, from one med to another! He never gives the medication anytime to even begin to work. I just don't know anymore...

    I'm open to advice. I have it set where you can email me - and I'd gladly accept anyone sending me a comforting email here or there. Thanks for listening!
     

  • ADHD and no meds by: boilergirl 13 years 2 months ago

    My husband was diagnosed about 2 years ago with ADHD. In the beginning, he read a lot of books on the subject and we talked a lot about it. He was prescribed Straterra, which has to slowly build up in your system. I felt like it was working and we had a lot fewer angry outbursts. BUT, it is really hard to tell when/if it worked b/c he often forgot to take it. Since it had to build up, it was almost like starting all over again each time he missed a few days. He said he felt like it was helping, but a few weeks ago told me he is going to stop taking it b/c he feels like it is causing him anxiety. Since then, I have noticed more of the addictive behavior (ie... he stayed up almost all night playing computer games, evidence of internet porn viewing, etc.) and he has started chewing tobacco again, which I feel is a form of self-medication.

    He is starting his own accounting business, (he is a CPA, but left a firm after 5 years and was let go of another after a year and a half) so I worry about how he will handle everything without meds. He has no medical insurance, so he avoids the doctor. Plus, I have mentioned a few times about going back to try a stimulant med, but have not gotten much of a response and want to avoid being a nag. I am trying very, very hard not to treat him like another one of my kids, but when he gets things out of the van and leaves the back wide open, or burns an egg b/c he got up to work on his computer while it was cooking, it's hard not to. I work in the afternoons/evenings and am constantly worried if the kids are getting to bed on time so they have enough sleep for school. He seems to think bedtimes are optional. I also do not schedule anything the one day a week my son has to be picked up from school b/c I just don't trust that he will consistently remember to do it.

    So, I realize that meds do not solve everything, but I would at least like him to try something different. How can I approach this without sounding like a naggy mom? Also, are there any ADHDers out there who are successfully functioning without meds?  Things are okay right now, but I am just always worried about when the other shoe will drop.

  • Consistency =Expectation =Handcuff?!?! by: Aspen 13 years 2 months ago

    My husband and I were having a random conversation yesterday and the subject of consistency came up.  He's been helping around at home quite a bit lately and I was thanking him for that.  When he asked what he could do to be more helpful, I said that to me the ultimate help is consistency.  I am always looking for things that I can get entirely off my radar because they are simply *his* to deal with. 

    His face just fell, so I asked him why the word "consistency" seemed to have such a negative connotation to him, and he came up with the title quote.  He said Consistency causes Expectation and that after that, you are just handcuffed to that thing or that job.  He made it sound like a death knell. 

    This is the point in a conversation when the old me would have completely attacked the selfishness of that argument, but I just didn't say anything and really let it soak in.  He asked if I understood what he meant, and I said that I thought so but that I am seeing it from the other side and the handcuffs are there too.  He asked what I meant, and I said if there are 20 weekly jobs that need to be done at home, and the partner who doesn't want the consistency of having a job all the time chooses 8 of them to randomly do as he sees them or they come up, you are certainly helping, but the opposite partner is *handcuffed* to all 20 jobs because they can't be left undone and she has no guarantees of what will be done by the opposite person.  She either has to specifically ask, do them all herself, or work around his random helping to get the rest done; but regardless of how she handles it, she has to have all of them on her radar.

     

    This to me seems unreasonably biased in the favor of the person who doesn't want the responsibility.  He says he sees that point.  So we just sat silently taking this all in (still keeping with the calm disagreement skills we're working on--probably also helped that there was no real issue in mind, so it was an unemotional discussion. Though we knew the outcome would affect the result of our family meeting later in the evening).  He asked what I see as the solution, and since I see the solution as *suck it up and do it* and I couldn't exactly say THAT, I said that marriage requires certain things to get done and that it is every person in a family's responsiblity to see that they get done.   He agrees.  I say that I see no real difference in knowing you will be helping with *something* during your hours at home vs knowing those things will be *x,y, and z* if you can pick the items in either case and we can arrange it to fit into the free time available in either case.  I also mentioned that the jobs don't necessarily have to stay the same every week, if he wanted to claim different jobs at the weekly meeting every week, I can go for that.

    Then came the issue I most detest..........which is what he most detests about what needs to be done around the house.......it doesn't stay done.  I mean I can't help that the bed has to be remade and dishes have to be rewashed and after you dust, things get dusty again.  I don't like it either, but it is LIFE.....what good does it do to kick against the realities of life?  I just said, "yeah that sucks doesn't it?" and didn't discuss it any further this time.

    I ended up just saying that having someone responsible for the laundry for example, means that as I see laundry piling up, I know that is mine to handle and there is no point sitting around waiting for him to start doing it (hmm guess me being handcuffed to a job isn't a problem cause he doesn't TOUCH mine ), and when all the laundry is done, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I got that job done and done well.  He said he has no joy in seeing something that needs to be done and knowing it is on him to do it, but that there is a satisfaction in getting a job done.

    I just left it as telling him the good job he's doing in staying on top of things has caused way less *fires* needing extra intention in addition to all the regular things coming in.   Because of that, we could designate a time period that he knew was all his to do nothing (this seems to be a major goal with him) if all the other items he's claimed are done.  

    He apparantly doesn't even want as much time as I thought, cause I suggested Saturdays (which he gets home at 8:30am and we usually volunteer till noon) and he could have most of a day, but he doesn't want to mess with date night, and wants the evening after church on Sunday--which we aren't usually home till 5pm.  I said DEAL and we are going to try it this week.

     

    Any insights into the logic of this thinking?  I guess I just think that every adult person knows that when you live in a home, there are things you have to do.  He's been out of his parent's house since he was 19, but he views taking care of a home as handcuffs?  Granted he wasn't much of a housekeeper on his own, but if you want to live in a sty no one says you have to get married.   I am not upset with him but I guess I am just baffled that this is how he views it.

    I am also proud of him cause he came right in from work this morning and got working on his list of tasks.........INCLUDING the phone calls he usually procrastinates 1/2 the day on.

  • To: Non-ADD Spouse From: ADD Spouse by: me-add he-add-free 13 years 2 months ago

    Dear Non(s),

    If you are on this site that is a good thing, reading about it and finding others going through the same things is very helpful.  Doing your homework to understand what your ADD partner may be going through is a good first step.  ADD is a characteristic of your partner's personality, it is not an excuse, only a potential explanation for types of behaviors the ADDer may exhibit regardless of how many attempts to "correct" the unwanted behavior they have made.  Yes, we know WHAT to do, we know how society expects things to be done, we know all of this because we have been belittled, put down, reminded and beaten over the head with these expectations our entire lives and, despite being experts in what is normal and acceptable, we. can. not. do. it.  That's the most frustrating thing about this, we know all of that junk and repeatedly, especially pre-diagnosis, "try harder" to be normal.  We do not mean to ignore you.  We don't intend to forget important things.  We sincerely DO NOT REMEMBER EVER HAVING THAT CONVERSATION and are not acting this way to piss you off.  To believe we want to be this way would be quite moronic and not at all related to ADD, that would equate to someone just being an A-Hole.  On purpose=A-Hole, Not on purpose=ADD.

    Don't educate yourself about this real disease and show effort and learn things and then act surprised when we do them.  That, for a non-ADD person who can/should be able to recall information from their short term memory, is unacceptable.  At least there are genetic, chemical, neurological validation for our lack of memory, what do non-ADD folks have to explain why you can't remember that ADDers are not impulsive, forgetful, inconsistent, procrastinators on purpose?

    The person who has ADD is responsible for educating themselves about their diagnosis and treatment and have an obligation to themselves and their loved ones to try what they can to alleviate any of the symptoms that are negatively effecting their lives.  If you do not pursue education and treatment as someone with ADD you have absolutely no right to ask those around you to understand, deal with or endure the results of your refusal to help yourself.  Medications are not the end-all-be-all, they can help but just like glasses won't read the book or get smarter for the far-sighted, ADD meds won't do it all either.  Coping mechanisms that worked before the diagnosis are still viable and may even work better with meds, re-evaluating your priorities to focus your attention on what is important rather than spinning your wheels on what isn't can also be helpful.

    Some of us ADD people are actually the breadwinners, bill payers, tax filers, house cleaners, appointment remember-ers and have been for years and have gotten by just fine until something snaps.  One more thing happens and we decide working harder than our non-ADD counterparts to accomplish the same amount of stuff simply because our brains are wired differently is no longer do-able, has sent us over the edge and we stop caring.  It's too hard.  It got to be too much.  We just give up and get by.  It's exhausting and overwhelming to have something that will never go away, responds to certain medications only when it wants, changes as life changes and essentially have no light at the end of the tunnel.  We must go to the Doctor once a month, every month, for the rest of our natural lives if we happen to be on stimulant medications.  We get looked at like drug addicts by the pharmacist and it's so difficult to find the right dosage and timing for meds, deal with the side-effects, time our MD and Rx visits to fit the schedules of our work, family and mental lives in addition to living with a mental tornado violently ripping through our thoughts at all times, I mean it's friggin' awful to even think about a future let alone a happy one.

    Ahh, mental vomit courtesy of my ADD.  I've gotten pretty good at functioning in certain areas of my life with really, really a whole lot of effort but there are other parts of my life I haven't even started on yet.  What should be considered good to most people, and at first to ADD people too, ends up sucking with such force that we end up in a black hole of responsibility and overwhelm-ed-ness.  I've experienced this many times and am beginning to wonder why I try to conform when it never ends up being that fun.

    So, my non-ADD people, I do not understand where you are coming from, not from personal experience, but believe me when I say that I comprehend, I get it because it's what I haven't been able to do my entire life and it's what I've been told to do for so long it is now stored in my Long Term memory where I can get to it.  There is not a sub-category called ADD-With Malice and Forethought, Intentional-ADD is not in the diagnostic manual either.  Seriously we know not what we do - even if you've pointed it out, asked us not to do it, trained us how to avoid it and had it up to here <<flat hand at chin level>> and are sick and tired.  We're sick and tired too.  Let's maybe see if there's somewhere in the middle where we can find out what we both care about, write it down on something large and put it on the wall to see at all times to remind us that we're not enemies.  We are fighting the same fight against the bad stuff ADD may create.  Can't we all just get along?

    Me-ADD

    PS - If you are being treated badly by anyone, ADD or not, verbally, physically, emotionally please tell someone, get help - that is not part of ADD, that's just plain old abuse.

  • Happy medium? by: SherriW13 13 years 2 months ago

    Not sure what to call this question...honestly, but gardener make me think about something and then I was noticing a pattern emerging for me and a couple of other members and wanted to get some input.

    I find myself struggling between what I should put on the table as an issue we need to work on and not wanting to address too many issues for fear of making him feel worse about himself...like "why bother". What gardener asked me was if I could see a pattern between when my husband's ADHD was worse and my own level of commitment to the marriage. In other words, when I'm giving up on him does his behavior become worse. I have been thinking about this for about 24 hours and the answer is "probably".

    So...first...why do I get to the point where I feel like giving up? For me, it is because I feel like he is unwilling to admit that his ADHD is causing any specific problem in our marriage. Right now, communication has completely shut down. We either avoid each other, talk about mundane BS, or fight like hell. That is our only communication. From my perspective, which he would surely disagree with, it started because he takes any and all attempts to 'talk' as attacks and no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to get it right when I try to talk to him about anything. If it involves the marriage, then he is automatically defensive. Now, what gardeners point made me question is...is he in such a defensive frame of mind because he knows I am losing hope? Because he is giving up too? I haven't made it a secret that I am not happy, that I need him to get more professional help, that I need more from him than attention only when he wants sex, and that his sneaking and lies (which he denies) are pushing me out the door..and FAST. The 'solution' to this is counseling...and lots of it...but we cannot afford $50/wk out of pocket for the counselor that I KNOW would help us. I've considered taking out a loan. Honestly. We can't make it as it is though...and we need to see her at least once a week. I admit that in early June I just decided I didn't want to deal with any of it and stuck my head in the sand and wallowed in my anger for a while.

    So, yes, I am sure he feels I have given up..that he cannot do anything right...and that no matter how hard he tries, it is never going to be enough...like he's fighting a losing battle. But, honest to God I am not sure that I can name one thing that he has done that has been helpful. There is never a good time to talk, he doesn't want to discuss anything, he's got too much on him with work, etc. I feel I have tried...

    So...I'm between a rock and a hard place. I know that confronting our issues adds to his stress and anxiety...but when we don't confront them it adds to mine. He's much happier with me just 'going along' with whatever, whenever. I have legitimate concerns that have to be addressed. He states he can control his ADHD himself. I know that adding to his anxiety makes his ADHD symptoms worse...he says he cannot function when things aren't right between us. I think he 'makes up' with me most of the time just so he can have some peace but it is done in a way that NOTHING gets resolved.

    How do you address the issues when doing so adds to the anxiety and stress, which makes the ADHD worse, but the issues never get addressed or resolved (just brought up long enough to make him defensive), without making the ADHDer feel like they cannot ever get anything right? I honestly don't want to pick him apart like a vulture for everything he does..but i do feel that the BIG issues being unresolved (and him avoiding/denying them) makes me much more apt to pick apart everything he does. I know it isn't fair, but I feel like giving nothing to someone who seems to refuse to GET that his ADHD behaviors are destroying our lives. Even if not actively and everyday, there are definite patterns that tend to repeat themselves over the course of several months/years and until the 'whys' are addressed and resolved I will NOT have any peace in my marriage. His cheating is the main one. Whether ADHD related...100%..50%...10%...it still needs to be addressed..WHY does he do it and what can he do to stop it? My class reunion was proof positive that he still does not recognize what marital boundaries are. Ours or anyone else's. What he did that night was disrespectful to my friend's husband too, I feel.

     

  • Husband Newly Diagnosed and Starting Vyvanse by: irishgirl84 13 years 2 months ago

    My husband has been newly diagnosed with ADHD. This is no surprise to me. We have been married 15 years. I am running out of patience.

    He as started Vyvanse and is titrating up to 60 mg per day. He has been on the medication for only five days so far. He says that he does not notice any difference in his attentiveness. I am noticing that he has become even more angry and difficult to be around. Is it possible that his body is just getting used to this drug? Might these side effects go away? How long until he should see any positive changes?

    I have so many questions, and I am just tired of constantly having my feelings hurt by the one who supposedly loves me. I don't feel very loved and haven't for quite some time.

  • Confusion...total confusion! by: needsalifeline 13 years 2 months ago

    I feel like I have been tossed out of a boat into the ocean, I don't know what way is up and I cant get air!  

    Two days ago the dh (diagnosed with ADHD about a month or so ago) gave me blank divorce papers to fill out so I could have my "option to get out".  We talked and I told him I didn't want out...I wanted to fix what was wrong and be happy again.  Fast forward to yesterday...he had an interview with the army recruiter (he knows that I don't want him to go in the army), that he didn't tell me about until I saw the number on the caller ID and asked him about it.  He claimed he had told me (we did discuss the army thing in the context of he wanted to divorce me and join the army to start over, but nothing about an interview)about it the day before and I was trying to start a argument.  I just walked away because I didn't want to argue AGAIN!  So last night we are sitting on the deck, talking about friends of ours that have come and gone, and he is telling me all the stuff his one friend is pulling on his girlfriend and how he (my dh) doesn't get why.  We end up on the subject of my dh leaving and he tells me that he has tried to leave 1000 times, he has lied about me to others, turned molehills into mountains and tried to "sell himself as the good guy" to get rid of me and that the divorce papers are actually the third set he has gotten but the only set hes ever given me.  He goes on to tell me he loves me to death and that every time he tries to go he gets pulled back, he described it like being pulled by a magnet or a drug.  He actually told me that it would be easier to quit smoking than leave me and that if he ever really did he would need a "twelve step plan and a 28 day program".  So we start talking about all the shit he has pulled and he tells me that its my fault that he did that stuff, cause if I hadn't been so hard to live with he wouldn't have had to try and get out!!!  And that I needed to stop trying to fix our relationship because it wasn't broken even if I thought it was.  To which I responded that my reactions were 95% because of what he was doing...so that ended the conversation because he got mad and told me we were done talking.

    Add that to the fact that he got his laptop yesterday and I'm not allowed to even touch it.  He got angry with me when I sat on the couch next to him, because I "was trying to see what he was doing".  In all reality there is only two places to sit in our living room (its only 10x12), the couch or the computer chair and I cant see the TV from the computer chair.  Do I think the laptop is a bad idea? YES  Have I told him that? NO

    I'm soooo confused!!  I just want to be happy...is that too much to ask for??????  I know counseling would help but he is totally against us going together, so I continue to see my counselor.  Haven't made to much progress with that, I don't think its the right fit...we have very different ideas about where the issues are and what I should be working on.  I apologize for my excessive amount of posts lately (I just realized how many there have been)...I know it probably makes me sound like a whiny child, and I'm really not trying to be.  Feel free to tell me to shut up if I'm getting to be to much.

    Everyone have a great day :)  ~~HUGS~~

     

  • Helping my wife end her suffering by: ClusterFcuk 13 years 2 months ago

    Hi Guys/Gals,

    I am 38 yo male and I was recently confirmed as a victim of severe ADHD. I have been married for 13+ years now and we have 2 kids but somehow I feel that I have not lived up to the expectation of my spouse. Though she is not the first to be disappointed by me, she is the one who suffers the most. How can I ease her pain?

    I know for sure that my existence on this planet is a HUGE mistake but I have few responsibilities such as kids, stay at home spouse and aging parents. If somehow I figure out a way to fulfill my obligations, I really don't have any reason to waste the precious resources of this planet earth we/you call a home. those resource being air I breath, water I drink and food I eat.

    At this point, I do not have any regrets/fears for the failures I may or will encounter to support my responsibilities and I do not get any excitements from my so called "achievements" or "accomplishments"...

    So my question is "How do I convince my spouse not to waste her life on the "cluster fuck" like me...

    Any help will be GREATLY appreciated...

    Cheers

    Shawn

     

  • Now what?! by: vrwheel 13 years 2 months ago

    My husband just started Ritalin, yesterday. I am mortified, afraid, angry, and trying to decide if I should hang in there. It's been such an uphill battle. He is the life of the party among our friends whereas I'm the old shoe. We're not even forty!!!! And I keep thinking, "Is it gonna get better?" "Am I gonna be ok with the 'what-ifs'?" I just don't know what to do. And feel worried that it's going to take a long time for him to get it together. I'd rather be on my own, knowing that I can take care of me and my son. But I also know that he's trying. That he listened to his own voice stating that something is wrong; he found a therapist/psychiatrist and voila, classic diagnosis of ADHD. So why don't I feel ok?  Vmama

  • Side effects of medications--is there a med I can take? by: Solitarycyclist 13 years 2 months ago

    I am a 58 year old male and was diagnosed with ADHD about 14 months ago. Before being diagnosed with ADHD I regularly exercised, took fish oil, and I have been on an anti-depressant for several years that really allowed me to sleep well for the first time in my life. I have tried: Vyvanse, Concerta, and Stratera. I tried each one for several weeks. All 3 made me feel awful physically. I felt tired all the time and just felt "yucky." I also did not notice any help with my distracted mind. With my marriage of 33 years on the brink of failure--yes, my non-ADHD wife has put up with me for 33 years--she is great but about out of patience--I plan to try meds again. Do you have any suggestions?

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