Recent Comments
- by: J - This is just a little humor that reminded me of what I just said....yet, there is some truth in it as well. YouTube: Office Space: Meeting with the Bob's>>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )
- by: exhaustedkitten - Thank you Melissa!>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: MelissaOrlov - We are doing a few things at the back end of the website and posts were delayed for a bit. Should be better now... Melissa>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: EMADHD - before i figured our my boundaries for my marriage, i asked myself that same question...then when i figure out my boundaries and put them on paper, i start living as me...it was a process, and a not so easy one, but i am happier and so is my marriage. i hope this help you.>>> on Forum topic - Self worth
- by: sickandtired - I could never love anyone I didn't trust. Love and trust are intertwined, and both are necessary for a good relationship. When I lost trust in my ex husband and my ex boyfriend, that's when my love died in both of those relationships. If you don't have trust in a relationship it's more like being with an adversary. You have to keep you guard up constantly in an effort to prevent them from hurting you. That's no way to live, especially if the other person doesn't care about your needs or your feelings.>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
- by: Swedish coast - C, I'm surprised you think trust and love have nothing to do with each other. I'd say they're inseparable as long as we're in some way dependent on our spouse. Isn't it a rare exception not to be? I've been the main provider as well as the (reluctant) alone leader of the family and the primary doer of unpaid work. Still I've been terribly dependent throughout our marriage. Emotionally, socially, physically. For the children. In every aspect that means something. And it's been impossible to ignore the...>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
- by: exhaustedkitten - I'm not sure why it's not posting my replies, but I'm so grateful for all the responses to my original post. I have definitely forgot to take care of me first. I've been in this constant mode of parent child dynamic and in fight or flight mode due to the RSD. I too see happy couples and though I feel happy for them, I feel extremely sad for myself.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: exhaustedkitten - Thank you so much for reminding me to take care of me first! I love holidays too and holidays for him seem to set him off and his depression sets in. I feel the same, I feel joy for other couples that I see so happy and I feel sadness for myself. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode constantly.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: AdeleS6845 - Knowing when to call it quits, is not "giving up". You can only push things down and swallow things for so long before they come bubbling up, or they manifest in other ways like poor health. I stuck it out for ten years with my ex.Husband. There was only so much I could do when I was the only one working on the marriage.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: c ur self - Love and trust have nothing to do with each other....We have to trust, that the actions of a person (us, them, anybody) will be the same today, as it was yesterday, and manage our lives accordingly, no matter what that entails...Some minds do not think through things, (risk takers) always looking for the golden goose...If you aren't one of those (like I am not) either, then you will need to manage YOUR life, funds, etc...w/ security in mind, and and the things that seem wise to you...I'm so sorry at age 55...>>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity
- by: Photographyjunkie83 - Thank you for sharing your story. I have very much felt the same loss of identity. It was reassuring to hear someone else has experienced it. I've not yet divorced my ADHD spouse but am strongly considering it after months of counseling resulted in minimal improvement. What slight improvement there has been was short-lived. Good luck to you!>>> on Forum topic - The ruin
- by: Photographyjunkie83 - Dear Exhausted Kitten, You just expressed my story as well. My 59 year old husband learned he had ADHD only 10 months ago, however. I filed for divorce a month later because I had experienced this before. My first husband was also diagnosed as an adult. He refused to learn or understand anything about his symptoms. Our issues were my fault, my problem. When I could no longer endure his hostile tendencies and method of self-medicating, we divorced (4 years after his diagnosis). My 2nd husband and I...>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: c ur self - When impulses are driving a life, that life doesn't need to have authority over others...In the water park example no one else's life mattered in those moments...This is the number one reason an impulse driven person will always be unsafe in a marriage relationship...Usually a life (mind) that is driven by impulse's have other attributes that allow them to get by with this type behavior...In our case, my wife usually takes no thought concerning what the responsibilities of the rest of the day is to be...(...>>> on Forum topic - RSD, What is it?
- by: exhaustedkitten - I really needed to hear this and I do need to fill my own cup! It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in this and to see that I'm not to blame for the problem. I was reading Melissa's article on allowing myself to grieve and I really need to do that and work through it. Thank you for the encouragement!>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: exhaustedkitten - I mentioned in a comment above that my husband and I had a talk this morning after I had a mental breakdown. It's just hard to see him struggle and then in turn me collapse under the crushing weight of the life responsibilities. I am hoping he can at least meet me a quarter of the way. He's already called a few times seeing if there's anything he can bring me to lessen my stress today. It's not that he isn't a good person, the symptoms need to be managed but he has to make that choice and eventually I have...>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: exhaustedkitten - I had a mental breakdown this morning and he wanted to know how he could help and I just unleashed everything I was feeling and told him that it's not his fault perse but that it is really hard for me to look at him and know there are things he can do on his part to make our lives better. He said he understood and wants to help so I can only hope that's a step in the right direction.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: exhaustedkitten - Thank you for this!!! I needed to hear that I'm not alone as I have been feeling as such for so long. My friends can only identify with me so much and this at least gives me hope that I can be ok!>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: Haveaniceday - Your post could've been mine. If I knew at your stage what I know now, I would absolutely have left. Kids, finances and getting older makes it much harder, so if those aren't factors then take care of yourself first. I know this sounds harsh, but honestly, the heartache and disappointment you are very likely to endure being married to an in denial and untreated ADHD spouse is no joke. Sending strength and hope you find your clarity soon!>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: swampyankee - Thank you for this comment, Swedish coast! I ended things with my husband of 22 years in May, whereupon he predictably asked for a "second chance". I foolishly agreed, but the requirements were that he needed to go to counseling for his anger management issues, and to get tested for ADHD. He did go to counseling, but not for anger. And he got to the point where he got a referral to get tested, but never followed through. I gave him Melissa's book to read, and to his credit, he did start reading it,...>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in
- by: sickandtired - If you stay, you are giving up on you.>>> on Forum topic - At a crossroads on whether to give up or stay in