Recent Comments

  • by: J - 1 month 1 week ago
    I actually had to look it up to make sure I understand the differences.  From the description I just read, it's sounds very much like what you're experiencing. I was looking at it from an ADHD perspective trying to answer your question. What I see my SO doing or even me for that matter is exactly the same as hyperfixation as it was described so maybe that is it? It also said that neurotypical people also can do this including people with OCD and other disorders.  For me, I was mostly referring chasing...
    >>> on Forum topic - When Hyperfocus Hijacks a Relationship

  • by: Andrea George - 1 month 1 week ago
    Thank you J, for your reply.  I wrote a comment to my post earlier but I haven't seen it yet.  I was wondering maybe the term that might fit is hyperfixation?   He gets so involved that he doesn't shower or eat meals and it sometimes interferes with his sleep.   Lately when we are together he doesn't talk about much else.    It helps to know others live similarly 
    >>> on Forum topic - When Hyperfocus Hijacks a Relationship

  • by: J - 1 month 1 week ago
    It's asymmetrical.  I get that.
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: J - 1 month 1 week ago
    ..and double yes. I'm experiencing it, and I have done, and do this myself to answer your question.  And absolutely,  before I was diagnosed and went on meds....this was the most obvious, easy to see symptom I displayed. No one who knew me, could not see this behavior everywhere I went. I use to joke: I collect hobbies. I have a long list of hobbies or "outside interests" that span decades. While some might really get involved in a single activity: sport, hobby, activity. From the looks of it from the...
    >>> on Forum topic - When Hyperfocus Hijacks a Relationship

  • by: Andrea George - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    My first post here and adding to my post that maybe I'm using an incorrect term saying hyperfocus.   Maybe it's hyperfixation. I'm reading that this is NOT considered an ADHD diagnosing trait.  My ADHD partner has always expressed he "needs" something to occupy himself with.  Reflecting back all 14 years I could probably list between 8-12 things total.   I don't know why he feels he needs this. I will say most but not all of these things have been positive.  Some of the things are:  Stock market trading,...
    >>> on Forum topic - When Hyperfocus Hijacks a Relationship

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I find your approach reasonable as long as your divorced couple haven't had an abusive marriage.
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: J - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Swedish, I've seen many variations of loyalty and choosing sides after a divorce.  Sometimes, I've seen the original friends of a spouse, jump ship and remain friends with the other partner and abandon their original friend in the aftermath...anything is possible I guess? There is a situation I'm in ( from years ago ) with one of my very best friends, where I became close to his ex-wife over the years. Their divorce became ugly and between lawyers and everyone involved, there were many battle lines drawn...
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Am going to the event. It's a child's big day.  After excruciating conversations with other adult family members it's now decided we'll all go. It will hopefully take the edge off it, and put focus firmly on the child. None of the family of origin have seen my ex in more than a year. I've been afraid some of them will be overly friendly with him in front of me. They state they don't side with me. They say they don't accept my story as truth - couldn't he describe everything quite differently? - and they...
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: Rivermind - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Hello, thanks for checking. The comments you were visiting were all on the same unpublished post, which is why you got the access denied message. Please contact us if you have any further questions. Thanks!
    >>> on Forum topic - General question

  • by: forestersam - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I am the non-ADHD in my marriage, however I can provide information on what helped my ADHD husband make the changes needed to save our marriage.  He also read Melissa Orlov's book, but the book he most related to was Dr Ned Hallowell's book "Driven to Distration".  Hopefully, you can get your husband to read it as well.  I also highly recommend Orlov's online course for couples.  It focuses on trying differently, not trying harder.  The exercises from that course helped him to identify symptoms that were...
    >>> on Forum topic - Looking for Community in my ADHD Journey and Struggles

  • by: J - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Its one of my favorites as well ! "So....you're going to make a lot of money...but it's not yours?" "er...it becomes ours"   LOL
    >>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )

  • by: J - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I can be much help, but I can offer things that have helped me. Learning from mistakes. I don't consider myself a success either. I'm a work in progress at all times. I'm also with an ADHD partner, so I have some perspective from both sides as well. The communication issues for us have been the biggest obstacles. It also sounds like you're dealing with those too? The biggest things standing in the way are RSD ( defensiveness to criticism) which makes productive conversations impossible if that is not...
    >>> on Forum topic - Looking for Community in MY ADHD Journey Struggles

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Hello, I'm non-ADHD so can't give you the perspective you're asking for. However, I want to convey sympathy. Pregnancy is a vulnerable state. The hormonal changes of accommodating a small roommate inside can be costly too. I don't think you can be expected to improve ADD management during pregnancy especially without medication. And if you go through with the pregnancy, you should ideally have your husband's loving support. Not feel alone and sad. About changing in general as an ADD partner, my...
    >>> on Forum topic - Looking for Community in my ADHD Journey and Struggles

  • by: nefun76 - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Pls don't ever feel an ADD ofr ADHD  person's co-dependency is an absolute. It is not. It's convenient for a lot of them as  they will use your personal strength to thrive . Once it's no longer available,  they are capable of channeling all their energy to meet their own needs in their own way.  My ex-husband used me to further his entire life all while  along he was living a lie and having affairs . He is now on with his  cheating partner who clearly doesn't play the co- dependency role I did . He is...
    >>> on Forum topic - Financial Infidelity

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    We all need them. I am having some today in fact... or really, they are being thrown at me today anyways. You're going to be ok. Take some time to really think if this is a must-no-exceptions attendance to this event. Something is telling me in the way you are writing it that there should be some consideration into NOT going if you don't have to. Just a hunch. 
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    That is taken for what it is, pure compassion and caring. It's so nice of you to take the time to answer. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without reminders.
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    Do I really need to put anything here? I laughed so hard when you referenced Office Space. Such a great movie and yes, so relevant   
    >>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )

  • by: Off the roller ... - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    I see you Swedish. Some thoughts to ponder:  1. Do you absolutely HAVE to go to the event? Like is it life or death or something that you are looking forward to (the event - not the ex being there). Do you WANT to be there? Do you NEED to be there?  2. If you attend this event, do you HAVE to meet/greet/engage with your Ex? If so, why? Who said you have to do this? Is it your internal system telling you that you have to do this thing?  If you think - really think through- about the above questions and...
    >>> on Forum topic - Humiliation

  • by: J - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    That this information is helping someone Swedish.  Even if it's just understanding. I belong to a couple ADHD forums for people with ADHD and I don't hear them talking about it either? And it is  really important to know if you have it and are going through this??  I suppose, already being on meds, going off, and now going back on again gives you insite you didn't have before? Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. As far as not being open to talking about it is something else entirely.   I don't tell my SO all...
    >>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )

  • by: Swedish coast - 1 month 2 weeks ago
    It must be very dramatic to go through changes in medication. I still wish I'd understood it better when it happened to my husband. Perhaps I could have been more supportive. And also I'm curious how it would feel. I wish he'd told me more about it. As with so many things, it was something he never shared, and I was terrified at the jumble of changes that I saw but never understood since he didn't tell me when he changed meds. Big adjustment with a lot of moving parts. It's a telling description.
    >>> on Forum topic - Homeostasis ( biorythems )

Pages