Recent Comments
- by: Swedish coast - Dear J, In my post I was mainly referring to sexual needs which I imagine are sort of core-ish to us. Or maybe that's a misconception of mine. I thought about people I've known intimately for many decades, and it's striking how alike their old selves they are. Having ADHD, as little as I understand about it, can mean having to work ten times as hard as other people and still feeling others crave change. I'm aware this is unfair. By my post I was trying to defend you a bit, from this constant demand for...>>> on Forum topic - Had a Breakthrough
- by: J - You made a very concise and insightful opinion in this brief comment that has caused me to reflect, so I'm coming back here to respond. This could be a lengthy reply which I don't have time for but, I wanted to say a couple things at least for the time being. While, I agree with you in part, about the core of a persons inherent God given elements being unchangeable on that level, I disagree that a person cannot change to a large degree. I know this, because I've discovered it to be true. Dr Russel...>>> on Forum topic - Had a Breakthrough
- by: Catterfly - Hi there, You've described so many of our relationships. I left mine two months ago, after 17 years of marriage and 20 years together. I'm glad you're starting to ask these types of questions much earlier. I spent years trying to fix things myself, but finally came to the conclusion that there's a hard line: will he or won't he engage to work on himself and take responsibility for his ADHD? Like you, I gave my spouse all the tools and support I could find, including Melissa's course. He wouldn't...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
- by: cvb21xdrt - Thank you for your well-meaning response. I knew that posting a paragraph would not adequately explain the past 11 years, and I'm okay with that. I came to this forum to vent and find support (e.g., normalize my experience). I wish you the best in your journey.>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
- by: cvb21xdrt - Thank you for sharing your experience and normalizing mine. This has been such a lonely journey, and I haven't talked to family or friends because I don't want to isolate him from our support network. I suppose that is why I came to this forum...to vent and share. Thank you!!>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
- by: Swedish coast - I appreciate your honesty always. Thank you for sharing too.>>> on Forum topic - A year after divorce
- by: Swedish coast - Catterfly, I so admire your optimism and energy going through these hard times. I'm sure you're doing this more gracefully than I could ever dream of. I also sense your children will be forever strengthened by the courage you've shown. I hope you've enjoyed the holiday!>>> on Forum topic - A year after divorce
- by: Swedish coast - I'm so sorry. This sounds hard. You describe how the relationship makes you unhappy and he doesn't try to change this. I understand completely that you consider leaving. To me it doesn't seem to matter which diagnoses are involved, or why he's not making the effort (disability, lack of priorities, inattentiveness, depression, inertia?) You can't have a better relationship if he doesn't optimize his treatment, choose you over the computer and try to create a good life for the two of you. I've had much...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
- by: J - Hi cvb21xdrt, As I read through this post, I have a handful of questions to ask. Since this is a post in the "Support for the ADHD Partner" and even though I have ADHD, so does my partner. I guess that qualifies my as an ADHD partner too? If you don't mind? If I hear you correctly, you've listed a number of issues ( or symptoms ) that sound like deal breakers, as you've expressed you are close to divorce if you see no improvement from your spouse? Since I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to talk about...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
- by: Swedish coast - Off the roller, I imagine you are right now pondering your options and it's so hard. Leaving is descending into chaos. Yet, if you leave your marriage, I do think you will be ok. You can find your own way of living that allows you to be the composed lovely woman you used to be. It's not ideal to daily feel distrust, anger and bewilderment at an ADHD partner's behavior. I also feel it's a lot to ask of a non partner to erase those feelings in order to keep status quo. Like your perceptions weren't...>>> on Forum topic - A year after divorce
- by: honestly - that's so heartening to hear. I'm happy for you, for where you've got to already. X>>> on Forum topic - A year after divorce
- by: Ligia - (translation from Portuguese, original is below) That's me! I share your pain. I don't even know who I am anymore. I keep thinking: How can my husband have the disorder, why am I the one suffering the consequences? He himself comments that his life is wonderful. He doesn't understand why mine isn't. About flirting, I've been seeing things for 25 years... At first I tried to believe him, but now I can't anymore... After studying so much about ADHD, I came to the conclusion that all the episodes really...>>> on Forum topic - I am ashamed of my anger