It's been a long time since I've been here, just wanted to share and give hope to those who can find it in what I write. I'm writing under my DH's account, can't get into mine. Long story, but he registered and will be sharing soon. When I was here last I was at the end of my rope and had given DH an ultimatum. Two years to show some progress and address his ADHD or I go. Things got progressively worse on my end. I lost all interest in everything,no makeup, no manicures, no hobbies. I spent most of my time playing Farmville,sitting outside smoking and crying and dinners were hit or miss. Desperately lonely and depressed, I just gave up on keeping the apartment in order, lost weight which I can't afford to and got a severe case of IBS which made it even harder to focus on anything.  Our son become rude, mouthy and belligerent, refusing to do chores. Totally opposite of how he'd been.

DH was doing fantastic at his new job, got promoted and two raises. Was I proud of him?, Yes. However, at home he was practically comatose, playing video games and watching movies the entire time he was home. No chores  were done unless I went ballistic. Urgent paperwork got behind and piled up. He started getting into the finances and messing it up again. I'd try to talk to him, I read things off this site, which he told me ,only discouraged him more. It became same s**t different day and it seemed like I was doomed to live this way, dreams gone, health gone, always angry and exhausted. So I called a friend and planned an exit strategy.  I felt trapped because he had moved us out into a tiny town and with only one car that is difficult for me to drive I couldn't go anywhere. I desperately need dental work, it had eroded my self esteem and even if I COULD go places, I'm too embarrassed to. I was resentful because he'd  thrown away tons of money on cr**p, mostly energy drinks, movies, entertainment etc etc. instead of helping me save to get the work done.  He works overnights now, four on four off which is tough on us, because our son works too, so he doesn't always get the sleep he needs because he takes our son to work. Fast forward to a couple days ago. 

DH was playing his video games, as usual.  An old trust issue had reared it's ugly head and we had been fighting bitterly. I was ready to call my DF and tell her I was ready to go, I could not take anymore. I sat reading some of the posts here when I decide to bring up the ADHD "elephant" again, hoping something anything would strike a cord. I turned to DH and asked if he would mind if I registered under his name so he could possibly read and post when he was ready. He didn't even glance over and said "fine whatever you want" So I did, then downloaded the Two chapters from Melissa's book, which he wouldn't consider buying. I tentatively asked if he would mind if I read them  aloud, to him while he played.  I'll pause here: He is not taking meds, or doing anything to treat his ADHD, and I had pretty much given up on pushing him, it has been fruitless, since he believes that without insurance, what's the point. Now back to my story. I started reading out loud, then asked him to turn the sound down on his game. He complied. I didn't hold out much hope since his focus was on his game.

I read, and read and read, figuring his attention span WHEN he's focused on what I'm saying is about 7 minutes, so I'd read for me, since I was sure I'd lost him by now. I stopped about halfway and asked him if he'd like to go smoke outside with me. I looked over at him and to my shock, the t.v. was OFF! Not only was it off, he was facing me, leaning forward and listening. Was he done playing  or could it possibly be he was engaged? He said, would you mind reading a little more before we go outside? You could have knocked me over with a feather. I KNOW my jaw was scraping the floor. He asked, "How much is that book, I want you to get it ASAP! HOLY COW, totally not what I anticipated. I'll be back with the conclusion. I have a routine I created I'm sticking too. :)

My husband has ADD and one of the things he struggles with is keeping up with appointments that are on his Outlook calendar.  I would love to help him with this, but I do not have Outlook.  I use Google Calendar instead.  Does anyone know if there is a way for his Outlook calendar to automatically notify me by email each time a new appointment is scheduled?  I know one way would be for him to invite me to any appointment he has, but we are looking for a solution that will be automatic, not one that will create more work for him.  Thanks for any suggestions you may be able to offer me.  

Ok so...been a little over two weeks since my husbands diagnoses and he isn't liking the way the meds make him feel.  He said that they are making his depression worse and he has no energy, which is understandable, meds need to be adjusted...no big deal.  So he calls his doctor, yesterday, to make an appointment and the doctor (brilliant person that he is--yes that was sarcastic) tells him not to bother coming in, quit taking all the meds completely (which means his depression medication also) and he will see him in two weeks and they will try something completely new. This is because he "wants all the medication out of his system completely).  What the hell is this man thinking!!!!????

So here I sit on our anniversary, by myself because he has shut himself in the bedroom.  We are supposed to go camping for the weekend on Thursday and that probably wont happen either.  I asked him if he was going to call his counselor to set up an appointment, so that they could possibly set up some kind of plan for the next two weeks so that his depression and anger problems can be kept somewhat in check and I got "I don't need that damn therapist", "you always want to change me and make me the problem"!  No I didn't mention the depression or the anger or the ADHD, just mentioned a plan.  So now thanks to the medical doctor we are right back where we were a little over a year ago before he started taking anything.  Hes made SOOOOOO much progress and now its gonna be for nothing.

The wind has totally been taken out of my sails....I see nothing positive coming out of this!

Would someone please explain the blame game and what's behind it.  We are trying to work through things one piece at a time but I still don't get what's going through his head when he blames me for things that defy logic or reality.  It's like he re-creates history and actually believes it.  I don't understand the need for it and I don't understand if in his mind he truly believes the new improved version.  A friend's ADD daughter does the same thing and sometimes just makes her mother's jaw drop it's so incredulous.