I am a healthy 37 year old male and recently diagnosed with ADD. We have tried Ritalin, Focalin XR and Adderall XR and none seem to me doing anything for me.
Any thoughts?
I am more aware of my ADD simply because I have learned a lot more about it and came to the realization of having to accept having it, but I am not sure the meds any doing anything for me. Maybe they are, and that's why I am here in the first place..... but i am not sure....
Help>>>>
Recent forum posts (all topics)
- Adult ADD medications by: funnybug 16 years 6 months ago
- Doing the right thing by: jfd 16 years 6 months ago This kind of goes along with my other post that i put up. How do i get my wife to understand that I really would llike to be with her and enjoy the times that we used to have together before she got tired of me being around her, hovering as she called it. It seems as though everytime i feel that it is going good, i make a "bonehead" move, meaning i can't just be happy with the fact that things are going good and trying to want more. Getting an inch and taking a mile is the term she has used. I am trying to build on everything. I guess that my biggest problem is that i am trying to move too quickly and not give her time to....... not really sure how what word goes there. If I have been hyperfocusing on her, as it seems as that is what one of the, if not biggest issue and now it is to the point where it is not good, would it be wrong to sit down and write a letter or put it in words to give to her about how i feel. I know that she knows but I have the need to tell her. Or would this be a classic sign ( which i think is correct) of not being able to leave it alone and trying to push it. Meaning that i am just going back and repeating myself and going in a vicious cycle. I had this all planned out before but can't how i was going to write it, i think this is pretty good though for now.....Any thoughts???
- Loss of a soul mate by: Chris w 16 years 6 months ago I have had ADHD for as long as I remember. I am 20 now almost 21, and I could never find the right woman. One day I found her, she was married and very unhappy. I helped her and in doing so fell in love with her. womans advice even called this man whom she was with a maniac. For nine months we have been in love, I wanted to grow old with her, she knew of my adhd and helped me with so much as I helped her too. Two days ago she told me she couldn't stop loving her old partner, that she wants to try again with him, even though her got another woman pregnant 1 week after she left, she said I have done no wrong, its her and she must do this. but I cant help the feeling she is just throwing our relationship away to try again. I am in peices, this was my love, soul mate and best friend. she said she may love me more but she has to go back to him to find out, because she has known him longer and he was her first love. but she don't want me to move on incase its just emotions and she goes down there and realizes she cant live with him, and wants to come back to me. That because she never properly broke up with him, she cant tell if it would have worked out and must find out. and in my adhd mind all I see is him hurting her or them getting intermit, and anger at how she could do this to me. as i type this I am shaking like a leaf. and want to give up on life. she was perfect, she knew how to deal with my adhd and loved me and I loved her like it would never end, and all the time she has been thinking of him, whom I protected her against, unsure how she feels. after getting the last of her things, and watching a movie called rent, some words in it tipped the scale and made her want to try. I could understand I i had done some wrong, but I never did, I cant bare the thought of being without her. I don't know if I should let her do this, go to him, so if it don't work out then she will return to me and be devoted. But if it did work out I would lose the only thing worth living for to me. anyone know what I should do as the adhd part of my brain is going insane
- Audio Brainwave Entrainment for ADHD by: bhodi 16 years 6 months ago When you hear the term “brainwave entrainment” you may have several thoughts. First, what is a brainwave exactly? You’ve probably heard the term a million times, but do you really know what it is? Secondly, how do you train brainwaves? And finally, how can this help ADHD? These types of questions are very typical and completely normal. So you don’t have to worry, you’re not alone in wanting answers to these questions. To answer your first question, brainwaves can be defined as the electrical operation of the brain. When the brain operates, the nerve cells of the brain send electrical impulses, which causes quick voltage fluctuations in the brain. This occurs in various parts of the brain and there even varying frequencies that these occur in. The varying frequencies correspond with the certain mental states that occur in the brain as well. Now, to answer your second question, audio brainwave entrainment is when you play audio that uses pulses of sound near the frequency that the brain is operating at. You can even use audio brainwave entrainment to persuade the brain to change its frequency. What happens in audio brainwave entrainment is that the brain begins to “follow” the frequency of the pulses of sound. Audio brainwave entrainment uses technology that inserts subtle beats, modulations and pulses into music. When you listen to the music, slight vibrations occur in the ear drum that is then echoed by the brain. The brain then begins to help you change your mental state. If you are a person who suffers from ADHD you probably have issues focusing. Individuals with ADD/ADHD have specific brainwave patterns. Through audio brainwave entrainment the person is able to actually speed up their brainwaves so that they can begin to concentrate. The audio causes the left brain to remain dominant so that the person can increase their ability to concentrate, reduce emotional response and also to reduce hyperactivity. These audio brainwave entrainment increases the beta brainwaves and acts as a “mental workout” of sorts. You are able to increase the electrical activity in the brain, increase the blood flow to the brain, and promote new nerve cell growth in the brain. Individuals can cause major shifts in the brainwave patterns after one short session. However, to change your emotions and behaviors over time you will want to use a series of sessions on a regular basis over several months. Eventually, your brain will be trained to produce these same patterns on its own, thus allowing you to have greater control over your ability to concentrate and reduce hyperactivity. More information about brainwave entrainment
- My ADHD ( maybe a bit long or confusing) by: jfd 16 years 6 months ago So this is my second post. I have briefly stated my adhd in my previous post(new and just learning). This forum seems to be where all the topics are but i am still reading all the stuff on this site. I am going to elaborate on my ADHD issues that have been discovered. I did state some of them a bit before but i thought of some more after that and as per typical ADHD fashion, they come and go at random, although now it is a bit more controlled thanks to my med. I have been married for almost 8 yrs and there was ( or so i thought) not a problem at all. Apparently my undiagnosed adhd was just compounding or chipping away at my wife. I believe my hyper focusing was on her. I have always been needing reassurance or recognition if you will for things that I have done. This i believe, i talking to my adhd therapist and my wife stems from my childhood and my upbringing. Not that it was a bad thing but my parents were always doing things for me and making decisions for me. I had a very good childhood and no trauma associated with it. Now however it seems that over the years it has become a problem. I am usually asking my wife for direction on things when i should just make a decision even if it the wrong one. This issue i think is not too bad. The one thing that I have beaten to a a pulp is the fact that i "hover" over my wife. This is were i think that she is my point of hyper focus. I have learned that i have placed all my happiness on my wife... i.e if i am having a bad day and then see/talk to her, it is all erased. She is my biggest source of happiness. This is a big burden to place on someone, as i am understanding. I love her to death but apparently i have taken it too far. I guess you can have too much of one thing. It is situation overload apparently. All this coupled with the fact that i have never finished a project that i started although i have 3 pieces of trim to paint in the bathroom and it will be done, a COMPLETE remodel, so that is good. I just recently right prior to my diagnosis picked up Driven to distraction and I realized that it fits me, like it is describing my life, if that makes sense. Everyone says that i am a nice guy, so sweet blah blah blah ( all good stuff) to her. Sometimes she is like yea you don't have to live with him or people will say how to you live with him. Apparently it is something that has been just pushed aside and now it is to a head, causing me to find out about the ADHD, which has always been a comment to me as a running joke. Well now it is diagnosed and it really isn't a joke when it affects you and your family. This is were it is frustrating because it is a change from what i have been used to and "normal/Ok" life but in reality it needed fixing. This relates in that the therapist states he hears the opposite from woman that they wish their husband, S.O. or whoever would pay attention to them. Apparently i had the opposite, maybe it relates to my ADHD and it may not have been so bad if it weren't for all the other things associated with it. There has definitely been improvements according to my wife but, my thing is want it fixed and i want it fixed now so I can continue with life and not stress about if it will work. I need definite time frame, 2 days, 1 week, 2 months and i am having to deal/under stand that it does not work like that, there is now answer, as she says with out it will not work between us, but if taking the meds and doing therapy and fixing the way my mind thinks everything should fall into place. That is the worst part having patience to do this, but i have them for this because i want it to work between the 2 of us and the 3 kids also, if i forgot to mention. She is my wife yet I can not enjoy this fully. It is almost like we are starting over so as to reset and start new so it is not a continuation of the "overload" from 8 yrs. I fit 30 yrs of marriage into 8yrs, if that makes sense. Also during the time when this was getting difficult approx 9 months ago, she had started working full time and i saw less of her, so that compounded it more the little time that I had i tried to make up for the time we didn't and this just compounded it even more. More symptoms of ADHD that I can't think of.... Fast forward to now i am trying to make up for "lost time" but it is the opposite of what to. Leave it be and let it work itself out to be right again. I believe that is it for now, I am sure I had other thoughts that came and went. I like this site and look forward the hear peoples feedback if they can relate to any of this. I am sure that I have confused or bored ( : ) ) some people, I apologize for that but that is it in a semi nutshell.... P.S. I am college educated and also work a a full time job and a part time job.. both of which also bring my great joy. I sincerely love my job and do not think of it as such. It also could be noted that the ADHD puts me and my job pretty well, it does not negatively affect it very much, it is a perfect fit.
- New to site and just learning by: jfd 16 years 6 months ago Hello all... I am new to this site, after having stumbled upon it. It is pretty neat. I have just been diagnosed with ADHD 3 months ago. I am in my 30's and never have been daignosed with it before. People are puzzled as to this fact. It has always been a running joke that i have it. Apparetnly I do. It got to the point that it has affected my marriage, have been married for 8 years and didn't think it was a problem. I guess it was all just accumukating and came to a point and it became untolerable. So now I am trying to work on it. I wish i had found out before so as to not get it to where it is now. I read driven to distraction and found it to be all very accurate, if only i had found it before. I was just wondering if there was anyone that may have some suggestions or can identify with my symptoms/problems or maybe make some suggestions. I am seeing a person to deal with my ADHD as well as take med. I guess i am just over focused on certain things and can't finsih a project on the other. I have been over focused on my wife to the point were now it is a burdern, i guess. We are still married and working it out to make it better, but not go back to how it was. I am looking for a balance, which is what i am trying to figure out. It seems to be helping, the med and the counciler. I am able to focus my energy better and complete more task and have been more effecient... I think... THis is my first time on a forum like this so i hope i didn't post too much and did not post in the wrong place.. Any suggestions would be helpful... Thank you.....
- Boyfriend with ADD by: bbl530 16 years 6 months ago Greetings, I have been dating a 45 year old, never married (was engaged) man that is a really great guy. We were together about 2 months. We have known each other for 8 or so months before dating. We live about an hour away from each other. I suspected he had ADD and was going to talk to him about it but our communitcations abruptly became almost completely stopped. He has some medication at my house and I found that he take Staterra which I understand is for ADD. We had been talking several times a day, together from Fri nite to Mon morn having one minor misunderstanding (I know it was because I was not clear in my communication) which we quickly resolved. He then got really busy with work (he is a landscaper- self employed) and when I asked if we were going to get together he said he had too much work and I distract him too much. He has had some financial trouble and is focusing on getting back on his feet. I know he has been busy with work, he says he will call but then does not. He has had some equipment trouble and large jobs with deadlines. Also included in the financial stress is IRS leins as a result of his ex fiance taking money and not doing her job. I know men have a hard time multitasking & they want to be the provider. I have also read that ADD can cause a lot of self esteem issues and so on. I have not talked to him for almost two weeks. Every 5 or so days he calls and leaves a long message on my voice mail explaining his current job and being busy, thanking me for my support and love and talk to you soon. No indication that there are troubles brewing. I am at a loss- I have not had the oppurtunity to talk to him and find out what is going on. I think he may assume I am going to "jump down his throat" which I am not- only want to know where we stand and why the sudden, abrupt change. He drinks a few beers everyday and I believe it is his respite along with the XBOX. My questions are: Is this behavior typical of a very busy, stressed man with ADD? How do I let him know that I know he has ADD and I want to help him, not change him and support him? What approach should I use to reach out and try to get our relationship back to where it was- assuming he is not wanting to break up which I really do not think is the case. if and when we get the relationship back how do I let him know that this has been very painful for me and not something I can or will be able to tolerate in the future. I know that men need to go to their caves but for weeks at a time? Thanks
- Outbursts by: griwei 16 years 7 months ago Suffering fools a little more gladly. Apologies for the length of this post, but I am a fan of detail. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year. It's been a difficult year, with the stimulants causing dysthymic side effects; my new wife suffering a miscarriage and year-long postpartum depression and her stepfather's death. I'm also still dealing with the suicide of my first wife a few years ago and a very demanding career. And yes, we both see counselors and are very open and honest with each other and the marriage is very strong. I'm using Wellbutrin while awaiting some research from my neuropsychiatrist about next steps re: other medication options. I have a coach too. The reason for my post is that I'd like to hear from other members about how they deal with their short tempers. Over the first 35 years of my life, I was slow to anger and quick to joy. Over the past five years, I've been quick on both fronts ... and I don't like it. For example, tonight I blew up at a pharmacist. My wife and I had walked to the drug store, talking about the rough two days she's had. When we attended, the pharmacist informed us that my drugs were not covered on my wife's new plan. We knew this not to be the case, as we had just been dealing with our insurance agent on this point the week before. I told him it didn't matter as I would just pay for my drugs but my wife took the time to explain that she was sure that I should be covered. After the pharmacist ignored me and proceeded to instruct us both, in excruciating detail, about how we were obviously mistaken in respect of our coverage, I waited what seemed like three minutes (likely 30 seconds) before I interrupted him, explaining that with five degrees and a legal career, I was quite capable of discerning the extent of our insurance coverage. He was taken aback and challenged me; I challenged back. My wife asked me to stop, but it took me another two or three minutes before disengaging, with her in tears and the pharmacist huffing about how he had never been treated so rudely by another professional. Afterwards, my wife completely agreed that the pharmacist was a condescending buffoon who deserved to be dressed down. Still, both she and I understood that it was our moral duty to avoid rising to anger about such a trivial annoyance. She also reminded me that whenever I start my communications with mention of my college experience and legal training, there is not going to be a happy ending. I know why I lose my temper so easily; I am justifiably under incredible stress and battling both my wife's depression and my own dysthymia. We all have our limits and I've been finding mine in recent years. I am most vexed by displays of bureaucratic ineptitude and slowwittedness. In other words, I really, really don't suffer fools gladly anymore. So, after that belaboured introduction I have a simple question: how can I control my temper better? Given the time of night, my Adderall XR would have worn out anyway. I knew as the words were coming out of my mouth that this was an ill-timed outburst in which I was about to engage - and yet, I just couldn't help it. His behaviour was just so incredibly annoying and before I knew it I was in an argument. Worse still, as a barrister I am very skilled at argument. Even worse, I rarely turn down the opportunity to demonstrate that I am right. While these may be useful skills for my profession, they don't make me a nice person, or the person I would prefer to be. I hope this does not sound too conceited, but it's akin to a professional prize fighter choosing to brawl in a bar with normal patrons. It is unwise, undisciplined and unprofessional. So what tricks of the trade are available to help me hold my tongue more often than I do?
- Going to Court or Going Insane...pick, which will come first? by: up2lisa 16 years 7 months ago
I am completely exasperated. My ADD husband and I go to court in a few days. He is in contempt of our custody agreement. His ADD is all over the missteps. Failed to communicate, missed objectives, lies, and hostility. You ADD it, he did it. I know I need counseling, I am so, so, so, hurt by all of this. I hurt because not one person who communicates with him, believes there is an issue. He has completely alienated me from friends and family I have shared 12 years of my life with. All who believe I was “too controlling” and fail now to see, the reality of our relationship and this mess that we are now in. The mortgage is unpaid by 3 months, my son is doing poorly in school, the car is going to get repossessed, no income, and we have no health insurance. BUT NO, there is “nothing to talk about…God is on his side.” So, they support and pay the legal fees…to lose. But, who loses…I do, I see money go out the window to my attorney, I see health insurance go unpaid, I see the telephone getting turned off and in the end… I see I win, YET ANOTHER court order, for him not to comply with. Greatly, because HE CAN’T. I want someone to sit him down, HELP HIM. Help him like I did for 13 years. Help him do the math, help him make the plan and help him discern what is in his best interest. But, they all just sit there and look at him smile. What a great and fun loving guy. It is as if the front we put up for 12 years has come back to haunt me. They think he had it all under control. I presented it that way, out of respect! I wanted my children to respect my husband. I wanted to “surrender” to him being the leader in the house. Now that I am gone, everything is falling apart and 700 miles away; I am STILL cleaning it up. I feel like its’ more than ADD, I think it is a mental illness. I wish it was, at least then I could find someone to intervene legally. Someone, who would look at this mess and put a stop to the legal dibockle. We are poor people getting poorer by a rich system and WE will not win. I am the saddest person alive at this moment. I’ve wanted nothing but the best for my husband and my family. I left because I could not take it anymore. I just wish he would fight with ration, I don’t even get that. I get partial documents, conjured up allegations and non-responsiveness all wrapped up neatly in a legal letter at the cost to him of $200.00 for the lawyer to write it and $300.00 for my lawyer to read it and respond to it. All of which he could have written to me in an e-mail, sent a voice mail or had a friend tell me for nothing. Because IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE enough to pay $500.00 for! When I WE (not just me) need $500.00 toward the mortgage! I feel guilty fighting him in court. It is like fighting an opponent with two amputated arms and swollen eyes, with a trainer in his corner telling him…you can win champ, you’re the greatest, we’re praying for ya! God’s on your side! What can I say to make ANYONE in his camp listen, this is wrong!? My husband needs help! L
- Is it too late? by: Hope768 16 years 7 months ago Hello Everyone, I have been diagnosed with ADD. My wife was the one who discovered the common relation of my symptoms and ADD. She was very supportive in the beginning but I was less accepting. I knew I had ADD, there was no question. I suffer from all the classic symptoms such as procrastination, loss of memory, uncompleted tasks, finacial incompetency. I've been on a list of medications but none have had an effect. I sought a Psychiatrist but that became a "Pill Pushing" extravaganza. I keep thinking I can deal with this myself but it has not gone well. I have been more accepting than ever in the past 6 months (finally reading that 2 year old copy of "Delivered from Distraction"). I have tried to work on improving, but my wife has now moved in a different direction. She is not supportive any longer. She feels I have not done a thing. My procrastination to seek help and improvement as left her frustrated with me. Now anything I do related to my ADD (or not) is met with ridicule and scorn. I here things like "You're such an idiot" or "You can't get anything right, I hate you!". I understand she is frustrated. When I tell her she is being hurtful she replys with "how do you think I feel, I've been dealing with your sorry self for 16 years!" I now feel as if I am walking on thin ice. I'm afraid to say anything in fear of an argument. On the other hand saying nothing does not help either. When I look back on our marriage, this is nothing new. Almost from the beginning of our marriage my ADD must have played a role. Anytime I spoke, my thoughts or ideas were put down. Any task I performed was met with, "Why did you do it that way?" or "This isn't right at all what's the matter with you!" This has made me go into seclusion within myself (if that makes sense). I'm not open at home. I'm silent, expressionless. It has made me less in touch with my children too. I am never sure what I should say or do with them. I find myself missing the boat so to speak. Another day goes by and I didn't help my daughters with there trumpet music. I didn't help my daughter with her track aspirations. I didn't help my daughter with her project that's due in days. Then I'm told things like "You are useless, I can do a lot better without you" My fear is I'm too late in turning things around. I find it difficult to even think of a direction to go. I've asked my wife if she would go to counseling with me. She believes she does not need it. The problem is mine and if any one should go to counseling it's me. I feel I'm being made a spectacle to my kids as well. Contantly being ridiculed and belittled in front of them must have them losing confidence in me as a dad. The sad part about all this is deep inside I am an outgoing, loving person. I have always been the one people would say, "Wow, what a great guy, he's so funny, how does he do that!". I am an artist and love to play music on top of a myriad of many other interests. All of this has gone, it's very dark now. I don't have the finances to try another medication or speak with a psychologist. I know the things I have to do and find them visable but untouchable. My question...Is it too late to save my marriage? Roger