I was hoping to get some feedback from others about possible behavioral changes with ADHD stimulants. Ever since my husband started taking Vyvanse, his behavior is odd. In the morning he's groggy and out of it (more than usual or what is to be expected), but after he takes the meds he is calm and extremely focused and energetic. In the evening, he starts acting agitated, moody, almost paranoid, and...just strange. Up late, writing long letters that don't make sense, pacing, talking to himself, acting secretive and hostile towards me. I think it's the meds that are doing this. I asked him to stop and he refused (upped his dose, even). I'm really worried. Does this sound familiar?

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/money/topstories/having-the-right-spouse-helps-...

The headline to this article caught my attention and unfortunately, I read it.  Basically, it links job success to conscientious partners who do their share of chores and child care.  I have watched my success at work crumble after one kid and even more after the second.  I've basically been booted out of the position I had for several years by a married childless male.  I'm taking more work home to do after the kids go to bed and having less time to myself.  This sucks

I always thought the 25th anniversary would be awesome especially since I am still young at 42 years old. I told him years ago that we would have to save up for a huge party. This year I told him I didn't want a party. I don't want to pretend anymore, especially since he has hear me cry and plead for him to get help and he has not. Even when I told him he was losing me because of his self-loathing and tantrums and physically beating himself, he didn't get help or come in to comfort me while I was crying and shaking. His reason: An apology wouldn't matter and would only sound like a justification. I actually left him for one month in April of this year. I came back because it hurt to see him sulk so much. Maybe I thought this year would be different because it was almost over. Silly me. 

Yesterday I text him as usual to say good morning and have a nice day and got no reply. He got home from work at 8:30 PM and barely said a word to me. He sat in his armchair watching tv until 1:30 AM. I was in bed by 9:30 PM. This has been years now. For some reason, I thought the day before our 25 th would be different. Why did I think that? I am usually the cheerleader and initiator but I am running on steam. I am very depressed these days and that is unlike me. Everyone calls me Sunshine. This morning I woke up as usual and he was snoring away. I left for work 30 minutes earlier than usual so that I could buy myself some breakfast. How much better it would be to feel special everyday so that on that anniversary day you would be happy to celebrate it all. Instead, there is pain and confusion and loneliness most of the time. It makes this one day feel a little forced. I can't even buy him a card because I can't say anything that he doesn't already feel and see in my sadness. Happy Endurance Anniversary day to me. I never thought 25 years would feel this way. I guess he feels the same way. 

Ain’t Really Love- Mary J. Blige

Everyday I'm trying to get to know ya
But more and more you're changing up your act
Everyday I look for ways to bring us closer
But more and more you appear to be drawing back
And lately when We're making love its getting weaker
My heart don't feeling it and feeling is everything
And I'm feeling like maybe you just don't feel it
And I don't know how to play it
In the past, didn't know how to say it
But I...

[CHORUS]
I held my tongue too long
I can't do it no more (I just can't do it babe)
See how can a man be so cold
To a woman that loves him most (I don't get it at all)
(But if you wanna go) There's the door
(I can't hold ya) Boy you're grown
(You must got me confused) Ooooooo
(I treat myself way too good)
And a love that tears you down ain't really love

Everyday I'm getting up and making breakfast
And more and more you're walking in without a word
And everyday I'm trying to ask, "Baby what's wrong?"
And more and more you say I'm getting on your nerves
And then you take me to the level of some bullshit
Ya said ya never had these problems from a white chic
You got me twisted and twisted is just not how I get with it
You need to sit down and hear it
Ohh...

[CHORUS]

I'm pouring out my heart (my heart)
Don't just sit there while my heart is on the line
Speak your truth (speak your truth)
What it's worth (what it's worth)
Not a word you say will go unheard
Now if it's like that
Then baby just pack your bags
Cause I'm sick and tired of fighting
I'm sick and tired of trying
I had enough of waiting
I'm not that good with playing
I know I love you
But I love myself too

Before I say anything, please know that I am a confident and non-jealous person after years of being married to my husband, Mr. Charisma and Charm. I will make this short since the story is soooo long. He is constantly hitting it off with women (children also) that have issues. He then adopts them as "little sisters" and family but has on many occasions been alone with these women to eat, on one occasion on a business trip, to movies, texting, calling, etc. I have talked to him about it and even had him replace himself and the woman with two other people we may know so he can see how it would look in his mind and I get the "we are talking about me not them" line. He seems to think he is untouchable and that he has good intentions, which I believe he does, but we should never test ourselves. I told him that I am uncomfortable with his hanging alone with these women and he said I am jealous and that nothing is going on. I believe him but I can't stand the disregard toward my feelings. Of course, when he does cede, it doesn't come without making me pay for it in the way of mopiness and malicious obedience and "fine, I won't go!". I feel I have the right to say what makes me uncomfortable and if nothing is going on, for him to include me in his plans with the person. I can't be everywhere and know everything though so I know that he will probably still talk on the phone with these women with issues since they have an emotional connection. When we first married, I was 17 and he was 22. Yeah, I know. We went to visit his friends so I could meet some of them and he let a 15 yr old girl he knew when she was little sit on his lap. I told him to get her off and he said I was being ridiculous. He is now 47 and acts the same way. In his head, he can do nothing wrong. I recently left him for a month (that was the hardest thing I ever did) and this was one of my issues yet he continues to entertain  the idea of hanging out with anyone he wants and sees nothing wrong with it and even says "hey, there was a kid with us so we were not alone". Very exhausting. What ever happened to "happy wife, happy life"? I understand perhaps he may not fall in like or love with them but what about the woman who is so impressed by his charm, humor, energy, insignhfulness and caring (things that he can show others but not me)? I find it disrespectful and also not being aware of how it looks to the public. Believe me, I would know exactly what to do if he messed up. I mean, would I miss the pain and suffering of living with a person with his issues? No. But does ADHD make you outrightly disrespect your wife's wishes time and time again and minimize how she feels? It doesn't make sense. Do I always have to adjust and correct, only for him to tell me I suffocate and nag him? He can be at a girlfriend's house with her 12 yr old child for hours catching up while I am home and in bed. What is that? Then I question him, he tells me exactly where he was and he says he was not alone with her. I don't doubt his loyalty but I question his false sense of security in himself and others. He minimizes and justifies. Am I crazy?