Recent forum posts (all topics)

  • Temper Like a Tornado by: CrazyEight 12 years 6 months ago

    My wife and I are recently married (2011). Before and after that, I have endured her explosive temper on more occasions than I can count. Most of the time it is over small stuff. For example, this morning I didn't give the cats enough food in their dishes, didn't let one of them drink water out of the bathtub faucet, and accidentally let one in our bedroom (shouldn't be in there). I was about to leave for work and she was still getting ready. She yelled at me for the cat food, cat water, and not getting the cat out of the bedroom immediately; that she would be late to work because of me. I just sat there and took it, resenting her for yet again blaming me for all the wrongs in our lives.

    When she was done ranting, I apologized as I always do. She gets angry if I don't hear every word she says, don't cook right, and so many other things that deserve a simple comment instead of accusatory words and agitated emotions. We've been to counseling and read a few marriage books, but none have had much affect on these situations. The counselor thinks she has ADHD. He admitted to having it himself and after describing symptoms and behavior, my wife thinks she has it too. After meeting with him and reading about it on the internet, I am convinced she does. She would have tried Ritalin, but we are trying to conceive and she can't take it. So I look forward to getting yelled at every few days when I don't deserve such treatment.

    What really kills me is that when she calms down later, she doesn't apologize. Sure, she can't help it. But it is rare that she apologizes for getting so upset over trivial things. I feel taken for granted and unappreciated. Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes over and over. But unless a mistake is very significant (left stove on which burned down house), no one deserves to be yelled at for making them.

    I will get your book and see it if helps. When she yells these days, I feel emotionally beaten knowing I have to endure this treatment until I'm dead.

  • Beyond angry & frustrated...simply over it by: hope09 12 years 6 months ago

    Today is my wedding anniversary and I'm frankly tired of my husband giving me an attitude.  He simply can't help himself.  I take his abuse whenever he wants to dish it and I'm tired of saying "its ok" or "I understand". He really has ruined me, my life and doesn't give an f**k about me.  I don't mean to curse but to put my anger in perspective I will make this brief.  My husband moved out 2 years ago because he couldn't deal with our existing living situation which was being a husband and going to work! He basically abandoned me, all responsibilities and left me with a mountain of credit card debt.  His excuse for leaving was for him to "work on himself" and "get better for himself, his future and us".  I felt at the time it was all hot air but gave him the benefit of the doubt because I truly did love him unconditionally.  Today, he is still the same exact narcissistic adhd unstable person with the same emotional, mental and financial problems.  

    After 2 years of not living with him (and dealing with everything myself!), I don't understand AT ALL why he still thinks its okay to verbally or emotionally abuse me over the phone!  I understand that when you are living with someone it happens from time to time BUT he doesn't ever see me! He's sarcastic and says, "its always me" (that he's the cause of our problems) but you know what, it is him!  I can confidently say he is the problem.  I can't communicate with an abusive, irrational or deceitful person.  I'm very loving, caring and forgiving person and have been hanging onto a dream of what I wanted life to be with him.  So today, on my anniversary I told him I'm tired of his attitude and treatment towards me and he says that I'm "an alpha, dominating female who probably has a million guys I'm sleeping with".  In all honesty I don't want anyone and he has crushed any trust and faith I have in another man.  There is NO talking to him, none, zero!!!!  He thinks there is nothing wrong and its normal for him to pick up and go for 2 years and treat me like sh*t.  

    His disease is no excuse for his actions and behavior.  He's ripped out my heart and I hurt...I hurt very bad.  I beyond angry and frustrated at this point.  I don't understand how one does not get help to improve their life with or without a partner!  How does he think the problems are stemming from me when his life has been a mess since birth?  At least my life has peace since he's left (that's when we aren't on the phone).  

    How do I get thru to him?  I can't play the compassionate supportive card nor can I stand up for myself nor can I sit there and not say anything (because he will yell at me no matter what I do!).  I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't and I realize I'm at a complete loss and he wasted years of my life.  When I divorce him (because I will, I just can't go on any longer) I want him to truly understand that its because of him, his treatment of me, his outlook and perception on everything and overall his ADHD.  I wanted to spend my life with him and grow old together...have our souls drift off and be one when we are gone.  For me to say I want this to be over is more then I can express in words BUT I can't deal with him thinking I left because of someone else.  I feel like he owes me to take the responsibility of the failure of our marriage.  I at least deserve that.  If I don't leave I will be abused for the rest of my life and I don't want to live the rest of my life blaming myself for us not being together.  I just want him to take ownership of himself, his life and where we are.  I don't want to be called anymore names because I want to move on.  I don't want to hurt anymore.

     

     

  • Emergency by: Luke1989 12 years 6 months ago

    Hi I am a 23 year old guy I'm struggling to understand and control my ADHD I am on the edge of loosing my girlfriend. She's doesn't understand about It and how it effects my life or are relationship. She's not talking to me and she's saying it's over but I think she's going to give me one lasts chance if I give her space but I am struggling to keep my distance. I no she loves me but need time to calm down but I need help understanding and controlling my ADHD please help 

  • Not diagnosed yet... by: Emmakay1999 12 years 6 months ago

    Hi all.

     

    My husband of 5 years has what we believe is ADHD. I have called to set up some therapy and get a diagnosis... Which of course, he is fully committed to and ready for change. I have been lurking on this forum for the past few days only to feel sad, relieved and full of hope for our future. Our marriage is not close to being on the rocks yet even having dealt with his outbursts and what I've considered up until now "crazy rants" . He's an exceptionally high functioning ADHD, he has his masters degree in, if you can believe, engineering... It sort of makes sense I suppose... The chaotic nature of engineering, he thrives in it. However.. I can recognize his behaviors of ADHD now seeing the symptoms and reading all of your stories. Its our life written on this forum. Everything you guys write is something we've argued about, something's I've even said, word for word to him. I don't think it's affected us so deeply as it has many of you because he is so aware of his actions... And we've always been a "no sugar coated" kind of couple. We vowed from the beginning of our relationship that we would always be honest with one another with our feelings and thoughts... That is not to say that it hasn't affected us. We definitely have problems, hence the reason I'm here for support. I only yesterday suggested this as a possible diagnosis and he read through the symptoms, I had him read through this forum even and he recognized all of our disagreements through you guys. He's completely on board with making us and our family work and willing to try medications and a full time therapist. So... You may be wondering, "well, if you have it all figured out, why the hell are you here?"... I'm asking for tips, anything you've tried that may be useful tricks? So let me run down the list of things we recognize as issues and maybe some feedback would be great!?

    I read that in the beginning the relationship was awesome, because he was hyper focused on me, obviously, I did t recognize it for what it was back then. Do you think it was "real", that his feelings were real? I don't know how to feel about it. Any thoughts?

    He is very angry often, outbursts over the tiniest thing, he blows up over small stuff and avoids large issues like the plague! He doesn't blow up at me usually... It's often toward everyone else. I think this part helps us as he seems to respect (?) me enough that he would never want to "bite the hand that feeds him" per se. But I have to get after him to calm down... Even in restaurants and other establishments, I fear we'll get kicked out if he doesn't calm down. Once I touch him, I can feel his body relax in my hand... As if I have some magical touch... But it's so quick that I don't see it coming. How do I calm him before he gets started? Is there some signs that I should be looking out for? Or is this something that needs to be managed in other ways?

    He's severely I attentive toward me at times... He craves and needs my attention, except I'm busy running our household and working full time with three children that I often don't have time to just sit down with him. He won't do a ton around the house (his excuse, although not a terrible one, is that he works 13 hours a day and just needs to unwind..).but he wants me when he's ready, usually when I'm in the middle of giving the kids a bath, making dinner, cleaning... Then blames ME for ignoring his needs....ugh! I do make time for him! Which brings me to my next set of issues:

    I make plans, because he likes a plan, structure, whatever... He refuses to make plans for us... I set out a date night, get a sitter so we can go out... Almost every week! But then he complains about the plans I made! As if he could have done better... But doesn't want to take the responsibility to actually make the plans himself... Because, he says, he doesn't know what I like and doesn't want to make me do something I won't enjoy. This confuses me because he has me make all of the plans, therefore he knows what I like, right? I've even made reservations at a hotel for the weekend so we can just relax together, with my sister watching the kids for a 4 day weekend... He took the wind out of my sails by saying we couldn't afford it!! Which brings me to my next set of issues:

    He hasn't seen one bill of ours in nearly 6 years! He doesn't even know how much money we have! I took control of his bills long ago because he was in financial ruins when we moved in together. His ex took him for a huge ride and put him in huge debt! So when they divorced he had no idea how to fix it, it was too overwhelming for him. I have since paid off all of his bills, $90,000 worth of just credit card debt and student loans (I didn't pay them, we used our joint income) so, I repaired his credit and it took a lot of effort to keep him out of the bank account and away from the bills because it stressed him so bad that it effected our relationship to the point of severe frustration.

    His thoughts are clouded and his organization skills are lacking. He's a manager at a pharma company and the demands at work have become overwhelming and we just had our third child. So home has become rather busy as well... I think it's more than he's ever d to deal with so any coping skills he had are no longer working for the more hectic life. I do have to say that he is a wonderful father and exceptionally attentive to our children. But he gets in what I call task mode... Where he starts to equate love as a series of tasks. I now know this is common. But it's hard to snap him out of it... Any suggestions?

     

    Anways, thanks for listening... I know it's a bit scattered, but I have a baby on my lap while I write :)

  • GENDER matters!!!! by: scatterbrain 12 years 6 months ago

    I am a 46-year-old ADD working wife and mother of 3.  My husband of 18 years does not have ADD.  I am new to this website and I'm very optimistic that it is going to be such a helpful resource for myself as well as for my marriage. I have read several posts in a variety of categories and I have also listened to the audio version of the first 2 chapters of Melissa's wonderful book, which was SO insightful!!!

    This is my first post and I am posting to make one very specific point that I think is critical:   I truly feel that while there are many characteristics of ADD that apply to both men and women (poor time management, forgetfulness, etc.), the impact of ADD in a marriage is significantly different depending on whether it is the wife or the husband who has the ADD.  I think it would be a HUGE improvement to this site to have separate forums according to that distinction. Does anyone agree? The dynamics in a marriage are not unisex. Gender is a HUGE factor which is getting "muddled" in this site, in my opinion.  While it may be helpful for all 4 "types" to read posts from one another to gain a different perspective, I think it would be very helpful to organize the posts in categories such as:  ADD wife/non-ADD husband; ADD-husband/non-ADD wife, both spouses with ADD; and perhaps similar categories for same-sex couples as well.  Does anyone agree?  Melissa, would that be possible?

    As I've been educating myself about my fairly new diagnosis, I am certainly identifying with the research of Sari Solden and Patrica Quinn, et al, with regard to Women with ADD in particular.  As such, I'm choosing to read Sari's book first ("Women with ADD") and plan on having my husband read that as well before we read Melissa's books.  I suspect that when I finish reading Melissa's book, I will be hoping that she will write two, or perhaps 3 new books:  "The ADD Effect on Marriage when a Wife has ADD,"  "The ADD Effect on Marriage when a Husband has ADD,"  and "The ADD Effect on Marriage when both Spouses have ADD."  So that it can be really targeted. 

    Any thoughts???

    Thank you, Melissa, for your work and this website which is a Godsend! 

    Scatterbrain

  • From the brink of divorce to hope for the future by: momof2toddlers-... 12 years 6 months ago

    Not even a week ago, I was ready to divorce my husband.  I only work part-time so I've been applying for full-time jobs like crazy and planning my escape.  And then something wonderful happened.  My husband started on Concerta.  The first couple of days he was irritable and he would say "I'm sorry I'm being so irritable".  At first I thought "here we go again" because he took Adderall and it was a disaster.  And then I realized - he had apologized to me.  Sincerely.  Without being prompted.  It was working.  The next day, we took the kids out to a moonbounce place and he was present, like actually there with us, involved, having fun with the kids, not focusing on how loud or annoying the place was.  The next couple of days after that he was being loving, he actually turned off the TV so he could focus on something I was telling him.  He set reminders for things he needed to do in his phone.  He told me he can see for the first time how his behavior has affected me and the kids.  He has been in counseling for the past month as well, but it wasn't until the meds that it was like a switch flipped.  I know that he will still be forgetful and that he will probably never be a good planner or as on top of things as I am, but he never was.  It wasn't the disorganization or him "slacking" off on things that was going to end our marriage.  It was how mean he would get and how short with me.  The meds seemed to have taken that edge off.  I have my husband back.  The man I fell in love with.  I am relieved.  I am also nervous, because I don't want it to go back to how it was.  But at least I have a glimmer of hope now.

  • Please someone talk me off the ledge! by: gratitudeiskey 12 years 6 months ago
    This is the letter that I just wrote to our ADHD Coach. She is also our marriage counselor. He's ADHD and I'm the Non. This weekend I have just met my match. I'm done thinking that it's possible for him to give me even remotely what I need. I've done everything in my power to keep this marriage a float. I won't do it anymore. It's too hard, it's taking too much of a toll. It's simply not healthy for me but ....OMG...how can I do this to my 6 year old. How can I possibly do this to her. I keep our home so low conflict that she simply won't see this coming. She won't understand and she'll be utterly devistated. How do I save myself and have her get all churned up in the undertow of my decision. Oh God I wish I was stronger, able to take more. He'd stay like this for the rest of his life. Sees no issue at all expect for the fact that Ihave an issue. So......here it is. Hi there: I just wanted to check in prior to your appointment with him. I’m in a bad place. Almost asked for the divorce yesterday. I’m done. I just want to say this about the whole external validation thing. I go to two meetings a week, a private counseling session and have been in therapy since I was 18. I’m doing an extreme amount of work on myself as of late. I’ll be honest, I think I’m one of the best people I know. I spread love, light and positive energy everywhere I go. My goal in life is to be a positive reflection of the divine source that created me. With the exception of my weight (and that really is the only exception), I’m incredibly in love with myself. The issue is this….I cannot imagine any woman living in the situation I’m in and not question herself at the core. It is right, appropriate and very normal for me to have expectations of my partner in life when it comes to validation. He’s my partner…he is supposed to, at least on some very small level, support me and validate who I am. You know the “Great dinner”, “You’re a great mom”, “You look pretty honey”, “The house looks nice”. I get so little of that. I surround myself with people who love me and validate me in other ways to sort of lessen the blow but, Linda, I think it’s very normal of me to at least expect SOMETHING from him. There is no sex, there is no emotion, there is no validation……..there is just a dynamic of a mountain of give and an ocean of take. I’m too evolved of a person to think that this is anything other than unhealthy for me. Even the most sane, healthy, intact human beings would struggle in my situation. I know, in the past, at the beginning three years ago I was expecting way too much out of him/from him. Unreasonable expectations of outside validation...but I've done the work now and worked on myself and I've become my own best friend. No best friend would allow me to go through this. Well, none that'd I'd allow in my life. He is absolutely not giving you the real deal as far as his behavior is concerned. He spends a minimum of 4 hours a day on playing video games or working on his RC trucks. He spent 11 - 15 hours respectively last weekend alone. We live our lives separated by the fact that he stays downstairs every night playing and I’m upstairs doing the work that needs to be done. We very rarely do anything social together unless it’s family related. We don’t really even have conversations unless it’s about Victoria or something he wants to talk about. I get it…I get it’s the ADHD and all that. I do….and I’m sorry that he has these issues. But the bottom line Linda is that he could work a hell of a lot harder and isn’t. He could be doing more and changing more…but isn’t. He is doing the bare minimum that is expected of him. The list of expectations and boundaries we agreed to? He's putting in the minimum effort necessary to just check off the list. Well, if you're spending time with me to just check me off a list, please don't do me any favors. He went out with friends on Saturday night and came home at noon on Sunday. The last communication I got was at 2pm Sat when he asked if it would be an issue if he went. He, of course, forgot to bring meds with him so when he came home he was utterly useless. There was no “I’m sorry that I was late”. He gave me some lame excuse about the brake line in the car. Not sure if I believe him or not. In any event……I’m done. Now my big issue is that I’m having a hard time making the next step because then it will be real and DD's world will be forever changed. You know this is something that I’ve been avoiding for almost 3 years now. The words were on the tip of my tongue yesterday but I prayed to God to let me hang in there...at least until I can explain it to her. Until she's 12 or 15... We’re just roommates Linda. We’re roommates that once had a relationship and now, we have very little that resembles a loving, caring, passionate marriage. NOTHING EVEN CLOSE! I can kid myself as long as I want to but this has to end. Everyday I allow my husband to refuse me sex and treat me as optional and with so little regard is another day when I’m saying to myself and world that I don’t matter…that my feelings don’t matter. I’m sure it’s not intentional….he just can’t give it. He’s not capable…or should I say,he’s not willing to do the extreme work necessary to make him capable. Linda, I love him and I can’t stay in a relationship with some I love this much and get so little. I'm at the breaking point. I need strength folks.....please give me a crumb to hang on to!! GB
  • how do i get over the anger? by: amonty1026 12 years 6 months ago
    Now knowing that my husband's "neglect" is a by product of adhd, I get its not on purpose but it doesn't matter. When his therapist first mentioned he suspected my hubby had it I thought "ok then we will fix that and it'll get better." I didn't understand what all adhd had impacted so I read about it and heard my own story being told over and over again. I thought "this really isn't his fault or intentional!" I just keep waiting for this anger and resentment to go away and it doesn't. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome my anger towards him? He said he resents me for my anger towards him and its noticeable because he finds ways to avoid me.
  • ADHD husband would not accept breakup!! by: lovehurtsalotwi... 12 years 6 months ago

    My DH would not accept the fact that we need to go our separate ways and try and figure out our direction in life.My husband has a "bitter sweetness"in him.The sweetness in him is very sweet and the bitterness in him is very BITTER.

    He of course loves me a lot from what I have seen for the period of time we have been together and married,I love him also,in spite of ALL the nonsense that have been occurring every 3 to 4 days(FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS)over "nothing",but,there is that underlying problem he has with this un medicated ADHD that he is not going and taking responsibility in taking care of IT.

    I don't know what to do??? I told him that he has to do this to save our relationship and if he really loves me he would do this ,not only for "us"but for "him".

    He would agree and then change his mind!!

    how do I get him to go without nagging him?? I would love for him to get better and take meds but he is not doing ANYTHING about it and it has been 3 months now since we found out he has ADHD.

    Gosh!!! if only he would take meds and work on that blinking anger we would be soo much better!!!

    lovehurts.

  • Over It But Hopeful by: Ms.T.is.Over.It 12 years 6 months ago

    Thank you so much for this site! I had no idea that so much of what has been going on in my marriage is tangled up with ADHD.  I read the posts here from all of you willing to share your experiences, and I could have written them all myself.  I’m so tired of the pain.  I have been married to a man with ADHD for 23 years and little by little, day by day, all order and sanity has seemed to slip away, and now at 46 years old, I find myself at lonely, angry, frustrated, hopeless, and ready to just walk away.  He always blamed me for everything, and for a long time, I believed him.  He was diagnosed about 5 years ago and started taking meds.  It helps, but it doesn’t really solve any of the underlying issues or behaviors.  The really crazy thing is that after everything, I still love him.  I want to help him, but I also know that I can’t fix it.

    I’m having a hard time finding the words to express myself here (and I’m a writer..HA!) because everything has become so absolutely out of control.  My mind has become so overwhelmed by everything that I can no longer sort it all out and see a clear path.  It’s like I’ve caught the ADHD and am now suffering from it as well.  I’ve given up trying to keep the house clean, having family dinners, having friends over, and a lot of other things I enjoy simply because I’m constantly exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically from the constant struggle.  I just want to breathe, and sometimes that is all I can do.

    Over the years, I’ve learned to stuff my emotions because he could never deal with them.  When I would express emotions, which I will admit were pretty intense by the time they finally spilled out after being denied for so long, he would always shut me down, usually by getting angry and running away to his man-cave.   If I pursued him, he would usually respond by saying something hurtful, or by calling me names, which just shut me down further.  I used to be a very emotional person; now, I just feel numb most of the time because the pain is just too much when I let it through.  I don’t like who I’ve become.  Sometimes I hate that I love him because if I didn’t, it would be easy to just walk away. 

    I realize now that we didn’t have the tools to communicate effectively…or even at all.  He sees that too, at least he says he does.  No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get into that brain of his.  Yet, this site has really helped me see that this whole thing is not about me and that I’m not crazy. I’m a victim of this disorder just like he is.  Perhaps there is hope for us.  We have decided to seek couples therapy (again), but this time, we are going in with a better knowledge of the role ADHD plays in our relationship.  He has also agreed to see a counselor who specializes in ADHD himself because for the first time, ever, he realizes he needs more tools to function.  So maybe we are going to be alright.  Time will tell.  I’ve put 23 years into this marriage, so I owe it to myself and to him to not give up just yet.  I just want the pain to stop because I don’t know how much more I have left to give.  Thanks for listening--it is good to know someone is.

     

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