I have been recovering from a bad sinus infection for quite some time.  My wife just came down with one.  She wanted to rest yesterday afternoon.

During that time, I worked on dinner--simmering corned beef and prepping roasted potatoes.  I also did a ton of the backlog of dirty dishes.

Our 10 year old was watching tv.  I went upstairs, and when I came down I found some ice cream out. I asked her if anyone said she could have ice cream and she acknowledged that she had not asked permission.  I told her she should not have it before dinner and I put it back in the freezer.

While I continued to work on dinner, she came in and started frying eggs in a saucepan.  Keep in mind that she is a very, very picky vegetarian, so her eating something else is normal.  Then she wanted to melt cheese in a frying pan.  I tried to tell her to melt the cheese on top of the eggs.  Nope, she kept going ahead with the frying pan.  Then she started stirring the cheese with a butter knife.  I told her not to use metal on a nonstick pan.  She briefly used a plastic ladle, but then went back to the knife.  When she was done cooking, she took both hot pans into the dining room, set them down on the table, and walked away.  I was busy cooking.  I yelled at her that she should not put hot pans on the table.  She resisted moving them, but finally came back.  There was a bag under the frying pan, and that appears to have protected the table.  But there is now a burned circle where she put the saucepan.

I've been really sick the past week.  I missed two days of work because I was coughing so hard.  My sinuses are finally draining, and it feels like my brain is leaking out of my nose.

After my wife left for work, our daughter stalled on getting dressed.  Then she said she could not find the pants my wife left for her.  I found them.  No, those do not fit.  I searched and searched through piles of unorganized clothes and finally found one single pair of tights.  Then she stalled because she could not tell which side was the front.  She refused to just try one side and the switch it around if needed--once she takes them off they are "dirty."  Meanwhile, my son would not get out of bed.  I was on the phone with my wife a lot of the time, but did not get much useful information.  Finally my daughter tried on the tights.  Then she stalled for brushing hair.  By the time I got her to school, it was too late to park in the school lot to sign her in to morning care.  I had to park on the street and hope that it was not a teachers only spot.  Then I still had to drop off our son.

Last night was our couples therapist, but my wife had other plans to see a show.  I was to go by myself.  We don't have a sitter and we can't trust our kids together alone, so our daughter had to come with me.  She refused and refused and refused.  I finally got there about 20 minutes late.

My wife is visiting relatives on the other side of the country next month.  I don't know how I can make it through a week with the kids!

I have told my wife:

1) She can't sleep half an hour later than me.  She needs to get up and start working on the kids when I get up and start working on the pets.

2) Having one set of clothes for our daughter is not good enough.  We have to have choices for her in case she decides she won't wear something.

3) All of our clothes have to be organized, not thrown into mixed piles.  This often happens because my wife will take all of the laundry that was being sorted on our bed and then just throw it into piles without sorting right before bedtime.  I sort the clothes into separate piles and put mine away to the degree that it is possible (we need more space, which we are planning to have by adding a dresser to a spare room--but we have to get around to painting the room first.)

But I have said these things before...

I just read this weeks “weekly tips”.  I will say that I feel that both ADHD and ADHD partners of the victims of a terrible network of physicians, physiologist and psychiatrist that take health insurance. I work for a very large company that provides top notch physical and mental health coverage for my husband and I. I recently have renewed hope that an ADHD savvy doctor(s) could help save my marriage.  I contacted many just to find out that they don’t take my heath insurance.  None of them!! Not one!!   The avg 1st time visit is around $400 and then a high hourly rate thereafter.  Mind you at this point you don’t even know if you are a good fit.  No wonder mental illness is such an issue in America.      I see this journey now costing thousands of dollars.  Maybe to save my marriage. Maybe not.  Then my husband and I will move onto being broke from the counseling/doctor fees. We don’t need one more stress added to the pile of straws on the camels back.   I am losing hope 

My best friend - it took us a long time to become best friends.  We met online and at some point exchanged phone numbers. Over a several year time span, it was me who did all the initiating of the friendship. I called. I sent messages.  

She’s always been the most amazing friend in terms of understanding and loving me at my most ugly points and in spite of my faults. That’s why I kept pursuing the friendship. But after time and time again of being told she’d call, and then she never did, I would go long spells of keeping our friendship to online because she didn’t seem invested. 

Eventually, she started responding more and more to me. But still, I usually had to do almost all of the initiating.  And right now, we are both going through some personal struggles. I want her to be there for me, like I’m trying to be for her, and she’s dropped off the map again. It’s been years since it happened. But here it is again. And I’m angry over it.  I want to support her and get support, too.  

Maybe it’s because I get so much neglect from my adhd husband. Maybe that’s why this is such a big deal to me.  All I know is I’m angry, and I’m tired of being the one who reaches out and meets empty air.