Recent forum posts (all topics)

  • Changing Your Self Talk and Setting Boundaries by: kellyj 10 years 7 months ago

    Discoveries about my ADHD as they apply to me.  This is my new self talk, not my conscience feelings or how I respond to others directly.  It is most decidedly one sided, judgmental and highly opinionated.  It has to be for me to counter the old self talk which focused only on what was wrong with me and believing my problems with others were 100% me, not anyone else.  It also addresses some real life issues that I have encountered with some real life people in my life.  I also find it interesting how from this old self talk, the words coming out of my mouth were closer to ,"this is all about you, there's nothing wrong with me"....thought this could be useful to others. (forgive the profanity but this is how I talk to myself)  

    In reality, I see both sides of the coin much better than I used.  The other interesting phenomenon I discovered was that every time I admitted to myself the qualities I don't like or feel I need to improve, how quickly I began to see them or in many cases, the opposites in others ( my strengths and weaknesses compared to other people ).....apply as needed. 

    1. Visual /spacial/kinetic learner....almost exclusively. Forget verbal, don't even try it will only frustrate you. Sequential learning out of context is like being shot into space without an orbit....aimlessly and helplessly floating around with no understanding or direction. I hate that.
    2. Don't believe anything others tell you about yourself.....it's really useful information as a reference to what you do that drives others crazy but don't take it personally....don't be a victim to your ADD. If you don't want to drive others crazy....then do something about it. Use this as a tool. If you don't care...then Fuck em.
    3. Perfectionists, severe neurotics, people with anxiety disorders and narcissists hate you....you make them crazy. Get over it! There is more wrong with them than there is with you. Do not try and please these people, it will only make you like them. Really!
    4. Trust your instincts....they are probably right even if the book says they are wrong. Use your intuition and listen to the little voice that's saying "something isn't adding up here". There is a reason for it...find out what it is. You will find that your right most of the time. The times your not...chalk it up to experience. Get used to failure and don't let it get in your way. The best lessons are from mistakes and they are ones you will never forget even if it take a few times and a little trial and error. You'll get it, don't worry.
    5. You see more than you realize ....don't assume others can see complex relationships and concepts. This makes it difficult to communicate to others. When they look like they are glazing over and don't understand....your right, they are and they don't. Find other ways to communicate. Others think you are trying to be a know it all or feel disrespected and that you're being condescending even when you're only trying to share thoughts and relate to them. Realize when this is happening and be selective to those you go on your verbal downloads about the inner workings of the universe. Know your audience!
    6.Love yourself. If there are things that you want to improve for yourself then work on improving them....for you, not for anyone else. If you disrespect yourself, people will disrespect you. If you respect yourself and people still disrespect you it shouldn't matter. If people cross your boundaries, you have every right to let them know without getting angry or upset.
    7. You'll know when your love yourself when it doesn't matter what other people think even if you are different than they are and they don't like it.
    8. Don't use your ADD/ADHD as an excuse. Don't be a victim!! Take responsibility for your failings but at the same time, you don't have to apologize for who you are.
    9. Don't try to hide your ADD behaviors. It doesn't work. People can see your behaviors much better than you can. Trying to hide them only makes you look insecure. Be secure. Take ownership of your ADD.....learn to love it and love yourself above all (#6).

    10. He who smelt it, dealt it........predatory people use projection to pray on the weak or those who are easy targets to dump their shit onto. Don't take their shit. You have your own to deal with. They use projection to hide their own weakness's. Learn to spot projection...it's easy once you know how. It will tell you exactly what that person is trying to hide. The one sure fire way to get these people to avoid you is to hand there shit right back to them, in front of an audience is even better. They fear exposure of their own weakness's most of all.

  • Sexual Issues with ADHD Spouse by: simonda 10 years 7 months ago

    Hello! I have never in my life posted to an open forum like this, but I am desperate for advice so I'm really hoping this helps! 

    I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we have been living together for about a year. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was a child and is 33 years old now. He has been on and off meds his whole life. We have our fair share of issues: lying, impulsivity, lack of effort, little help around the house, etc. One BIG issue is that we do not have sex; very little sexual contact at all. We kiss each other, but that is really about it. He has never had a relationship other than ours, so he has never been sexual with another person. Months into our relationship this became an issue. I thought something was wrong with me, or he wasn't attracted to me. He has told me time and time again that he is attracted me and that this is his problem - not mine. But it's so hard for me not to take offense and be hurt about getting rejected over and over again. Basically what happens is if I initiate any kind of sexual contact, even just kissing him, he tries to avoid it. He will move his face away from mine, tell me he's tired, he's not in the mood, maybe later...etc. We have no sex life whatsoever. He says he wants to have sex and he wants children someday, yet he puts NO effort into having a sexual relationship with me. He says he gets anxiety when it comes to me touching him or us having sex. He hasn't had anyone touch him in that way before, so it's strange to him and he has a lot of trouble getting pleasure from someone else. Just to clarify - he is able to become aroused if he is doing it himself, but as soon as I become involved, he gets anxiety and it's over. We have gone to therapists, tried medication, went to the doctor, and nothing has helped. I am at my wits end. I love him so much, but I need to be intimate with the person I love and I want a family. I am turning 30 in less than 2 months, I feel like this is never going to happen. Help!!! Has anyone had this kind of experience? Is there any way for him to get through the feelings of anxiety and have a pleasurable experience? Like I said, we have been working on this for over a year. Any advice or suggestions would be very much appreciated!

  • Husband insists on buying a stick shift and now I'm stuck with a car I can't drive!! by: Anonymous (not verified) 10 years 7 months ago

    Up until last summer, we really only needed one car. I either worked from home or our work schedules were such that we could use the same car or he'd take his motorcycle. Well I got a full time job in August and we worked basically both the same hours and he couldn't take the motorcycle in crappy weather so we bought a used car in October. DH insisted the entire time that we would get a stick shift car. I have no idea why he insisted on that since I have never driven one, but he said we were definitely getting one. All I could think is "That is really really stupid to get this car that I can't drive". He made a big deal about how now when he needs to take the truck to tow the trailer to the racetrack for a weekend that I don't have to come with him (because I don't really enjoy going to the track) and can drive down for one day and go home afterwards.

    Well we've had this car for 6 months. I have heard 10 times about how he needs to teach me to drive it and how we are going to do that on the weekend. Well every weekend goes by and not one mention of teaching me. First race of the year is next weekend so he said this past weekend that he definitely needed to teach me to drive it so that I can come down on my own or just have transportation for the weekend. Well Saturday morning we went somewhere and he goes "Oh I was going to teach you to drive this today wasn't I? Well maybe we'll do it tomorrow." Well Sunday came and went and not one mention of it. Even if I did get a quick lesson on it does he really think I'm going to drive it myself 2 hours to meet him? He is the LAST person I want to teach me anyways because I know 2 minutes in he is going to be yelling at me and getting frustrated.

    Was getting a car that I can't drive the dumbest idea ever? I may even have to miss out on work on Friday because he wants to leave for the track right from work with the truck and if I can't drive the car, I can't go to work!

  • ADHD cause of abusive behavior? by: Jenni430 10 years 7 months ago

    My first time ever reaching out for help. To make a long story short I've been married four years to my husband who has ADHD. He is taking a generic form of Adderall. So it wasn't until after we were married that he started getting so out if control angry. This anger turned into abuse, physical and emotional. I don't want to go into detail about me because this isn't about me, suffice it to say I've had my share of bruises and cuts. I've tried learning more what sets him off but now it seems most anything will. Yesterday we were driving and a dog ran right out in front of us. My husband was looking at me talking and I saw it first so naturally I yelled "dog! Stop!" And he had to slam on the brakes. He then proceeded to yell at me saying that it would have been better to just hit the dog, ect. It seemed so unwarranted and I was hurt. This scenario seems to play out over and over again. He gets caught off guard and immediately goes on the defensive. Or other situations like when were with friends and I start telling a story, he'll interrupt and continue the same story, it's like I'm not even there. I'm shattered physically and emotionally but part of me will always love him. Can anyone relate? What am I doing wrong? How do I get him to calm down? 

  • Crazy thinking and blaming by: jennalemon 10 years 7 months ago

    Dh is going around slamming things.  I used to actually believe that I did or said or was something wrong.  Now, I am not taking it personally anymore.  If he has a problem with me, he will have to talk to me and face to face tell me what is the matter. I will stop guessing that I am to blame.  Since it has been his habit to not talk about anything except jokes and silliness, I used to try to guess what he hated about me that he was acting so rudely.  Tonight, I am going to assume something different.  I am going to assume that he is just plain frustrated.   He has been working on our toilet all day....mainly taking breaks and smoking.  I know that he cannot fix it....a 30 year old toilet. I know we need to buy a new toilet.  Since i DO know how his brain works after over 40 years of marriage....i know he is  blaming me that the toilet does not work (never mind that it is very old), he is drinking beer so that he can stop his frustration with ME.  He is blaming me somehow that the toilet does not work.....Like, maybe I flushed wrong with the handle or I should not put toilet paper into it or maybe he is thinking that I went into the tank and took out a part that was needed and now is missing.  Anyway.....he is doing anything but realizing that if he made a living wage, we could go out and buy a needed new toilet.  Which is what I will do eventually, I am sure.  Oh yes, tomorrow 15 people are coming over for Easter.  If I say anything to him right now...in the softest, nice tones.....he will take it as an insult and stop working because I am a b.....   So I must sit mute while he tinkers on.  How would I do this if I were a strong person?  I would go in there and say, "Stop.  Here is a new one advertised at_______.  We should just buy a new one."  He would take that as an insult on his abilities and tell everyone that I am unloving and slam out the door to drink and smoke alone.

  • About to give husband an ultimatum to get help and counselling - could use suggestions and advice from others' experiences by: ICanSeeClearlyNow 10 years 7 months ago

    I posted earlier on here about my husband not being interested in parenting tasks.  I've been to a therapist for myself and recently went to one for my 3 year old son.  Both therapists told me that my husband and I need marital counselling at the very least for things to improve, and that he desperately needs individual counselling (of big concern to them both is his impatience, such as not letting the 3 year old use the potty and not sitting through family meals).  My husband has refused to go to marriage counselling when I had brought it up a few times over the past months.  My 3 year old is definitely being affected by the situation now.  I am ready to give my husband an ultimatum - we go for counselling or the kids and I leave...or something like that.  Have any of you done this?  Any suggestions on how to make it effective/non-confrontational?  Thanks in advance for any help!

  • Wonderful Resources by: FashionFotograf 10 years 7 months ago

    I wanted to say, "Thank you!" to Mrs. Orlov and Dr. Hallowell for creating, moderating, and curating this informative forum. I recently started dating a guy and he admitted to having ADHD. I came from a well-educated family and upbringing and so I know what ADHD is and what it isn't. With that regard, his ADHD hasn't scared me away. Because I am aware of the symptoms and expressed behavior of ADHD, I started "suggesting" guidelines for how we should communicate and made a detailed outline of our forthcoming date in West Hollywood. Even those I "know" ADHD, I need to read and familiarize myself with the real-world experiences in the context of relationships. I told "Hanz" about this website as a resource for me. I wanted to educated myself on ADHD in relationships, so that I won't have any surprises. If a conflict or problem does arise between Hanz and I, I will have practical knowledge as a value and guiding system to help alleviate the problem(s).

    Warmest sincerity and with appreciation,

    Ron

  • Dealing with Junk by: PoisonIvy 10 years 7 months ago

    I don't know if I'm asking for tips or just venting.  My husband and I live apart these days but it seems that I keep finding things that are evidence of his disorderly approach to life.  The latest was my discovery in the basement today:  a futon (that I knew was there), the surface of which contained a large area of  mold or mildew (that I hadn't known was there).  The basement mess and junk, none of which is mine, bother me so much that I almost start to hyperventilate when I go down there.  But I've been trying to deal with the "stuff" and so I went down there today with the goal of putting some things into storage bins.  It was very distressing to me to find even more things in our house that are in bad shape because of my husband's neglect.  Blah.  

  • help me with the pain of my eyes being opened by: awake after 41 years 10 years 7 months ago
    Ive been reading this website since I was diagnosed with ADHD and began medication after a lifetime of asking myself "what the hell is wrong with you bill?". The blinders coming off in a rush of selfrealization and the pain, sorrow, and anger directed at myself at times feels overwhelming. I try to cope and I cry a lot. They are real tears though...ive never felt these before. First a little background on my history and my current situation I am currently seperated from my beautiful wife and our 4 children because of this disease and its toll it took on them. my wife and I have been together for almost 12 yrs. I want desperately to save our family now that i am "human being". Over that time I have had the typical timeline of adhd roller coaster but did have control to a point up until 2.5 years ago. Thats when the claws of adhd sank into me deep and relentlessly. We had a house fire where we lost virtually everything...nearly 100% loss...it started in my workshop and that devastated me...I looked at it as I was responsible for our loss. I am a former Marine combat engineer (high stress mines, explosives, etc...) and combat veteran I handled those experiences but I couldnt handle the fire. I constantly thought about how I ruined our life because of sonething I may have forgotten to do once again...I tried talking to my wife about those feelings and was met with her a type personality, which I love in her, saying to suck it up, move on, no one was hurt just deal with it. Im not bashing her for this fir so many years I had these moments and periods of selfloathing and deep hatred fir myself and would get through them and go back to the happy go lucky living in the moment hardworking loving caring man I was fir short periods. It was different with the fire though...I couldnt shake it...I kept reliving it daily and she buried herself in her business...the days of trying to hold in my ocerwhelming shame turned to weeks then months then years...I can see now the path I took and it wasnt pretty...over the past 2.5 years I sank to such depths of my adhd...loss of months of memmories because there was so much in my head i could retain anything. I still cant remember anything from september 26th 2011 till about may of 2012...its all a blur of jumbled crap. I retreated to mini hyperfocused projects which never got completed...self hatred grew to the point that if you didnt smile at me that meant you hated me too...although i didnt realize till i went in meds i had shut down almost completely unless i was yelled at then i focused fir short periods...i truly felt my wife and family hated me for the fire...i truly disapoeared inside my twisted mind and couldnt escape..I resorted to dating sites...none became anything...I think I was looking for a woman to talk to. Im not sure...In august of last year I started a new job and met a younger woman who seemed interested in me...one thing led to another she flirted texted hinted and and the affair began in september. In november I knew it was wrong, i was starting see i was wrong...I wanted to save myself and my marriage. I didnt kniw i was fighting a battle i couldnt win yet without help.I tried ending it...lets be friends...lol...that doesn't work when your brain wired by adhd that had gone undiagnosed...my wife and family doctor tested me and to no suprise to them and a complete shock to me...i tested off the charts...January 3rd I started on aderall at the ultimatum of my wife ...do this or I leave...January 9th I went to help my somewhat ex mistress pack to move...i was done...I ended it after I left...only to arrive home to my wife waiting in the porch for me...after clawing my way out of the pit...getting on meds. Realizing my brain was screwed up...there she is waiting for me...im not sure if I would have told her about the affair if she didnt find out. Being honest about that. I have put her through so much in our years together...the last few being a hundred fold worse but regardless. This has only been a brief history of my struggles with the awakening, as I call it. My life has been filled with adhd and the pain I feel now is horrible. I cant change the past. I can only go forward and make a new life. I want to save my marriage and family. I scream at the empty house I live in that I am losing now because I cant afford to keep it on one income. My wife tells me that she wants to find herself again...love her work and our kids befire she will consider us reconciling. She has said she sees change in me...she cares for me...she almost said I love you...but will not committed to anything ither than friendship at this point. Im trying to show I can stand in my own and be a husband father and friend now. The pain of 41 years of this disease has crashed down on me with such force. I accept its a disease that causes so many symptoms and requires treatment but how do you get past the guilt of the "old me"?
  • New to this by: SeraphinaS 10 years 7 months ago

    Greetings!

    A few months ago I found myself positively swept off my feet by a man I'd known through business for awhile.  On our first date he mentioned he has ADHD and is treating it.  Not much more was said, so I started doing research on what that can mean.  I realized pretty quickly he was in hyperfocus and tried not to get attached to the idea that this level of attentiveness would be ongoing.  Sure enough it waned, no big deal however he seems to be getting progressively less communicative. 

    One of the other things he mentioned early on was that he has "abandonment issues" so he gets worried if he doesn't hear from me regularly.  Okay, I made it a point to text or call him frequently and he'd do the same.  Lately though he doesn't contact me at all unless I contact him.  I realize he works and has a son (who is with him every other weekend) but I'm getting a bit weary of having to initiate every contact.  He's gone on a business trip this week and I know he won't contact me at all.  I'm trying to pretend that Seattle is on the moon thus no phone service so I won't take it personally, but I don't know.  The last trip he went on he didn't contact me at all and when he got back he called and started chattering away like nothing was awry.

    I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if this distancing is normal guy needing space stuff and I should just hang tight and see if he comes back or if it is a function of ADHD.  Saying "oh its the ADHD and he is just too buys focusing on blahblahblah" starts to feel like a thin excuse for not wanting to face the fact that he may be moving on.  Then again given his history of reappearing like nothing is wrong I just don't know how to go about this.  When it is good it is very very good, but when it is bad it is horrid. :)

    Any advice would be most appreciated. 

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