Maybe this thread has already been done, but I have another question in which an ADHD person may be breaking things. Do other ADHD'ers break stuff?  My ADHD husband is always breaking things, and has ever since I met him. Most of the time he shrugs it off, but it has cost us an unbelievable amount of money in replacing items that he breaks. You NAME IT, he's broken it.  Every time we get an item where there is some "assembly required", the item gets put together backwards or upsidedown, or gets broken completely, but, if someone ELSE breaks something, he goes ballistic. He gives himself SO MUCH ROOM for creating awkward situations, or breaking things, and we get very little to no leeway. I don't understand this.

There are many undone projects in the house that are results of him breaking items in the house. (2 sets of collapsing doors) (the ceiling in the kitchen and dining room where the heating cooling system flooded the attic)( a big hole in the family room upstairs where he cut a hole into the attic and promised me he would put a door there - that was 8 months ago...and no door, just boards across the big hole) (the ENTIRE garage full of his stuff and now the cars can't get in) (a botched patio he made in the back yard which is a mess now and has to be totally redone) (the pack porch which is half done from the FIRST time he tried to redo it and broke things in the room)(the broken hot tub from him trying to "winterize" the pipes underneath and broke the whole thing)

There are chores that need to be done around the house, but the chain saw is broken, as well as the weed eater, the pressure washer, and a host of other small appliances.( and that's just currently) It was much worse years ago, when almost everything he touched ended up being broken, and if I said anything, he got angry immediately. One summer he went through 3 lawn mowers because he kept breaking them. Then he would go out and buy another one claiming that the LAST ONE was just "junk". NONE of them were junk.........he just was too rough on the machines, and never cleaned them after mowing the lawn or would run over rocks and stuff which would break the blades or the belts.  We spent over 4,000 that summer on lawn mowers. There is a very good lawn mower that has been sitting in the yard for over 8 years now, but he won't let me get rid of it because he's "going to get it to someone who knows how to fix lawn mowers". But, it's been out in the elements for 8 YEARS NOW, so I doubt if the thing is any reasonable working condition. (this too cost several hundred dollars)   The riding lawn mower we have is quickly going down the tubes, and he won't let ANYONE use it but him. I CAN'T STAND IT. Why be SO STUBBORN about letting others use things when HE is the one who breaks everything? I just don't get it. Can anyone answer this?

Does anyone else have to deal with this ADHD trait, and if so, how do you deal with it.  My ADHD husband will say something 50 to 100 times or more before he actually DOES the thing he's talking about. One such incident is spray killing the weeds in the front yard, which he talked about for weeks ahead of time. Finally he puts up some sticks and string around the piece of yard he is putting the weed killer on, but STILL DIDN'T put down the weed killer. Three weeks went by until he ACTUALLY put the weed killer on the grass, but every day.....several TIMES a day, would talk about how he's going to kill the weeds. It gets to the point of obsessive thinking/conversation, when he repeats himself over and over and over again, but doesn't ACTUALLY DO what he SAYS he's going to do. Another item is the taxes. We are 3 years behind in tax returns, but he's talked about DOING them for all this time: especially lately because tax day is tomorrow. (they won't be done AGAIN) I mentioned that we are going to have to pay penalties and fines for NOT doing the taxes for 3 years, which he got angry and said "NO WE WON'T"......'WE DON'T HAVE TO PAY PENALTIES BECAUSE WE ARE GETTING MONEY BACK THIS YEAR". What kind of sense does THAT make? Plus, there are times he talks like this and NEVER gets around to what he's talking obsessively about.

But anyway, he TALKS like this all the time, and repeats himself over and over and over again, until I want to pull my hair out. It this a way for an ADHD person to remember to do things they need to do? Or what? Or maybe he's the only one who does this, I don't know, but would sure like to hear someone else's input.

My ADHD husband always has excuses as to why he can't do things.  I'm just about at the end of my rope!  He has told me to give him lists of things that need to be done around the house but when I do he rarely completes the tasks.  Yesterday I emailed him a list while i was at work.  He received the list at 10am and said he would be happy to do everything I asked and have it done before I got home.  The chores amounted to about 30 minutes of work and yet when I got home at 3pm nothing had really been done.  He did unload the dishwasher but never finished putting anything away.  He put a few dirty dishes in the emptied dishwasher but there were still dishes left in the sink and food particles on the counter and stove from the night before.  He didn't finish the repair he had started days before which had cluttered my dining room with tools and he didn't file the tax extension online (which was on the list but I had also asked him to do it several times in the past week).  I have tried to explain nicely that since I work full time and take a part time online business course that he needs to help out around the house.  Yet it always falls on me because he says I'm unrealistic in my expectations and I make him do everything my way and in my time.  When I got home from work yesterday I dusted and vacuumed the whole house, did some studying online and by 6pm he still hadn't finished cleaning up the kitchen so I could make dinner.  After dinner I cleaned up and put away the leftovers but told him he needed to do the rest.  I woke up this morning to a text that was written at 1:23am saying his back was hurting (he does have a legit back injury but it never seems to keep him from doing the things he wants to do) and he would clean the kitchen and do the dishes in the morning.  Just another excuse!  He stays up watching TV till 1-2am every night then he's too tired or his back is hurting too badly to do the dishes, which is supposed to be his job since I do all the cooking.  I get up much earlier than him because I work 5 days a week so I have to either clean the kitchen myself or prepare my breakfast and lunch by working around the mess while he sleeps till 10am. 

I have told my husband many times that I would be happy to take on all the responsibilities at home if he would just keep a full time job and help with the income.  But after over 30 jobs in the past 7 years I have very little hope he will ever stick with anything.  So we continue to struggle financially while he looks for and applies for jobs that he always finds an excuse why he can't accept or keep once he's hired.  He blames everyone else for his inability to keep a job and if that's not his excuse then it's his back or his other health problems.  My family and friends think I'm crazy and they don't even know the half of it because I always protect him by making excuses for him.  But I'm sure they see right through it.  And they don't see his angry outbursts when he doesn't get his way or when I get so fed up that I have the audacity to speak my mind or tell him he is being unfair. 

Reading what I have just typed makes me feel like a fool.  Why would I stay in a marriage like this?  He contributes nothing.  He wants his needs met yet doesn't seem to think he has to do anything to meet mine.  I cringe when he touches me because he makes me sick.  He's overweight and blames it on his back injury (from 14 years ago) but really if he would just stop sitting in front of the TV and shoveling food in his mouth 6-8 hours a day maybe he wouldn't have a weight problem.  The rest of the day I can't really even tell you what he does.  A chore that would take me 10 minutes seems to last all day for him.  I've tried to be understanding about the ADHD but there comes a time when I have to say if he can't contribute anything why am I still here?  I really feel like a fool!

When my spouse first asked me on a date 32 years ago, I was in awe.  I could not believe he wanted to take me out.  He was tall, blue eyed, and handsome.  I was shy, awkward, and disliked myself intensely.  Our first date was to an expensive dinner theatre.  On the way, he talked about his life.  He was engaged to someone else - but not FORMALLY, as in 'no ring yet' - and he wanted to make some new friends (That was me - the new friend.)

He said - she said.  To this day he insists he never said the word engaged. 

When my spouse asked me to marry him, I said  'No.' Several times.  I insisted I had many hang-ups, was still in counseling, and I was very afraid he would not like 'me' when I was finished.  He was persistent, and after a while, I wavered, and said, 'Yes.'  

I spent lots of years in awe of my situation.  Wow, he actually asked me to marry him.  Wow, he actually married me.  Wow, he actually is staying married to me.

32 years later, he does not appear to like me.  He does not appear to like that I have an opinion.  He does not like that I do not bend to his ever demand.  He does not like that I stick to my guns.  He is mostly always mad at me.  After 10 years of trying to make room for me in our marriage, I drew the line.  Three years of trying to get the man I married to allow room in our relationship for me.   Three years of pounding my head against the wall. Three years of him being angry at me - because we no longer have any intimacy.  I guess it died once I realized it was not the 'Husband and Wife Show', but rather the 'Husband with the Wife Who Always Agrees with Him Show.' 

I have a mess of a marriage.  After countless attempts at counseling, I really perceive it is time to let the old cat die.