I have a question for every single person on this blog.  How do you DEAL with the constant lying???  My husband will lie about ANYTHING!  When he gets mad at me he will take off on his motorcycle and not come back for hours.  AND THIS MAN IS 60 YEARS OLD!!!  It used to upset me to the point of tears, but that was decades ago and now I am usually glad to see him go because I have my own motorcycle and can do the same thing...but I am rambling.   When he comes back he will lie about where he has gone.  He will say that he "went by" someone's house, but it will turn out that he went BY this house on the way to a bar!  I found a half used bottle of "personal lubricant" in his tank bag.  When I confronted him with it he looked totally confused and said he didn't know where it came from.  I have no trouble believing THAT because he has no stinkin' memory!!!  I can deal with the disorganization and the lack of memory and (for the most part) the fact that I don't think he knows I exist, but the LYING!!!  THAT I cannot live with.  Somebody please calm me down.

My DH finally started his meds today and is no longer resistant to some type of life coach or something, so progress.  However it took him 7 years to get to this point.  The stress and anger we have with each other is going to take a LOOOONG time to work through however.  We both want this to be worked out and it seems he finally understands how his behavior effects me.

I have an autoimmune disorder and up until 3 months ago had great well paying job that I loved.  Employer did some downsizing, I lost my job to new employees with no education in that particular field (I do), the new employees also have no experience in the field, while I have 12 years in that position, 18 years with the company.  Needless to say, I have had to rely on DH last few months while i file discrimination lawsuit against ex employer.  this stress has me in a constant 'flare" of my disease, almost to point of applying for disability.  If I don't get away from the stress our marriage will never work, as I now have gotten to see how he handles his finances...not good.  He makes good $, owns a thriving business, but has no idea that you open the mail and pay it by due date, not when you feel like it.  We have spent thousands on late fees alone the last 6 months.

my question is, would it be crazy to move out temporarily? My thought is that this will give us time to see what needs worked on and remind us why we want to be together.  There is another more selfish thought to this on my end.  We live in an extremely rural area, no jobs that I can physically do within 40 miles (because of my disease).  However the city I see my speciality doctors is 65 miles away and there are numerous part time jobs I am qualified for.  My thoughts were find income based apartment, stay there a few nights a week and weekends back home. Not working is setting me into depression.  I have dr appointments there once weekly as well, as does DH, so this would just save time and money.

To complicate things even more we are in process of building our dream house. Of course with DH, this has been ongoing 7 years and we are finally getting somewhere with it, will hopefully be done in about a year.  Honestly though, if I don't get some space from him while he learns some independence, only 1 of us will be living in "our" dream house. Opinions, thoughts, advice much appreciated!

Hello. My name is Jessyka. I was recently diagnosed with ADD in June; I was prescribed Concerta and I meet with a therapist once a week to work on my issues. I have been feeling like things are getting a little better. However, its that time of year again-- College-- and I've lost that initial enthusiasm. The Concerta was "sort of" helping my symptoms. Each Doctor visit my psychiatrist has upped my concerta. Now though I have classes, and my work-study job, on top of being a wife. I have another Doctor's appointment on Friday and I'm hoping my Doctor will change my prescription because it isn't helping. I am having difficulties focusing in class, studying, and concentrating.  I am happy that I finally have an answer to why I am the way that I am. It's really disheartening to realize all your faults and to realize that progress can be slow.

I'm really working on how disorganized I am and my procrastination habit. The hard part is that my husband also has ADHD. He was diagnosed as a child, but his parents never had him medicated. Now he is in the military and because of the stigma will not see a therapist or psychiatrist. Because we both have this problem-- his being on the hyperactive side and mine the add w/o hyperactivity. The point is that we both have problems with organization, attention, and impulsiveness. Needless to say this causes a lot of issues. I think it would be better if he was in therapy, but he's not. He is getting out of the military May 2013 and I'm hoping he will see someone afterwards.

I am sorry for the venting. I am just feeling very overwhelmed and felt the need to find some other people in a similar situation. I would especially love to hear from anyone who is married to someone with ADHD.

Jessyka

I thought I'd start a create a new thread on this topic, which has been getting a lot of play on another thread lately.  

I wonder if my husband, who has ADHD, has a hard time finishing tasks not only because of the attention/focus issue but also because of perfectionism.  It seems that he might be thinking, "If something is to be considered done, it must be perfect."  And, as we all know, the state of perfection is nearly impossible to reach.  So, by not finishing, one is also avoiding whatever feelings are experienced when things are not perfect.  Any thoughts about this?