Have any of you non-ADHD partners who've been badly hurt by ADHD, reached a point of forgiveness?
I would want to close this crater of pain when the first year of divorce is coming round. It's not so much about him or overseeing with his actions. Mostly, I want to be different.
It isn't over. I had a major adrenalin rush as late as a week ago because of my ex husband's long-standing, as it turned out, mistake concerning the children. His symptoms and lack of communication are still tugging at my nerves as we try to coparent via texts. He thinks he's friendly and has no idea of what he's done to me, he ignores evidence of it. I'm hurt, stressed out, have deception trauma according to the therapist.
Still, I want to find forgiveness and peace. I want to be able to show up for the children where my ex is without a migraine stopping me. I would like to make our family - because we are still a family - something I don't regret. I want to comfort old friends and extended family and tell them the divorce was necessary, but now we've put it behind us and work so well together for the children. I want to be grateful for my life, not shattered and accusing. As yet, I'm not close to this goal. I am a mess.
It's not in my personality to keep emotions locked up. Neither am I good at pretending things are different than they are. So forgiveness and acceptance must be true.
When there is no trust anymore, and you are completely estranged from your former love, how do you still write new chapters about love and trust? How do you show your children a decent and mature way to handle a crisis? How do you forgive, even if you don't see any excuse for what's been done to you?
What did you do?