Recent Comments
- by: J - "Business. Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!" This is where my revelation came from. In the script that's my life, my father plays the part of Jacob Marley. This year marks the 40th anniversary of his death when I was 26 years old. After he died, my mother confided in me that he told her not more than two weeks before he...>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: Catterfly - Hi J, This is my shoot from the hip answer; I hope you'll forgive me if I come back with something more tangible later. But for now I just want to say that my heart goes out to the little boy you described. Everything you say about him - how annoying he was, how he couldn't stop talking - is exactly what my two daughters say about themselves. They're ashamed of it. One is diagnosed, the other sees a psychiatrist for the first time tomorrow. I want the little boy in you (the ghost of Christmas past)...>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: J - *So here, I have to stray from the original story line a bit. As I see myself now, I actually see two very distinct people: the one before I was diagnosed, and the one after. I could actually go a step further to include: and the one after I started medication which was about 5 years after I was diagnosed. At the time, I didn't hear the therapist tell me I had ADHD because my mind was too busy thinking about something else and that something else was not getting divorced. It simply didn't register, went...>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: Dagmar - I was on a trip with a friend and my ADHD kid was misbehaving. We usually only medicate her for school, but I had the AHA moment and made her take her medicine. A half hour later she was great. She stopped running around and getting lost and throwing fits for things. Friend didn't realize that the misbehavior was a symptom and was amazed how obviously well the medication worked. I explained it as "Imagine people keep yelling at you for things you don't know you're doing. You can't stop doing it...>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: J - Heads up. This may be a long post so I'm going to divide it up into sections accordingly, using Dickens story in part, as my own. I'm taking the place of the Ebanezer Scrooge character and his life, because I had a sort of, revelation, that my own life parreleled the character's story in many ways. To do this, I have to take on the same perspective as the one in the story if I can. At least that's what I'm shooting for. As I look at myself in my past as a child...I see a hyperactive kid who could barely...>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: saudade - Thank you so much for sharing your experience and give feedback. I think you are right, this is not only ADHD, he also has a lot of childhood traumas, mixed with other syntoms (emotional disregulation, maybe bipolar) , all this mixed with alcohol is an explosive bomb. And now, after meeting him accidently on the street, the feelings of shame and guilt (from his side). Yes, is a lot and not excusable, is just my mind trying to understand to find closure. I am feeling much better now, since I know I can...>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
- by: c ur self - I have not used drugs, but, I do pray, believe, exercise, and use self talk, it all helps...Also I swapped to decaf. a few year ago...(which definitely helped w/ restfulness) At night I pray, read my devotion and some scripture and maybe a little in a novel to help me relax and get sleepy....I will never personally take a drug, to help me deal with a self absorbed individual....I've already exhausted myself and given many years of love and caring to someone who has no thankfulness...It's time to walk away...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
- by: honestly - Thanks Saudade; I hope you find what you need, and are able to proceed safely with whatever course of action you take. To add to the above, I have been married to someone with ADHD for twenty three years. It was diagnosed this year. He is moody, disorganised, doesn't hear me when I speak and extremely defensive around any perceived criticism- any comment that is in fact not lavish praise. He has often been angry, but he has never, ever raised a hand to me. ADHD traits are often similar between individuals...>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
- by: Off the roller ... - And would you believe... the doctor perscribed the same anti depressant for my husband a few months earlier than me and it did not work as well for him as it did for me. Just a random thought as well.>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
- by: Off the roller ... - I went on an anti-depressant to cope (I spoke frankly wiht my doctor about my situation and for the time being, I wasn't going anywhere) and it has helped. But to be clear.. it's helped ME and only me. And I've realised that it's not to cope with my spouses disregulation, but moreso so that I can stay focused and get the sleep I need and my emotions don't run away from me too much. But my doctor was EXTREMELY strict on instructions on if i was to start taking it, i.e. I had to keep working out, eating well...>>> on Forum topic - Non ADHD spouse, questioning if I should be on meds.
- by: saudade - Thank you so much for your answer. I am aware of the issue and its gravity. Still, I will take a look at the links. I am not excusing it at all, I was just trying to get more educated on ADHD (and othe connected syntoms) and change views with people who had similiar experiences. Thank you so much, have a nice evening!>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
- by: J - I'm also going to show my SO some articles about this phenomenon and tell her this is what's currently happening with me. I've also found an article specific to women with ADHD and the burnout cycle ( which I'm now more than a little sure she has too ...she's got all the signs....like 10 out of 10 ) and see what she thinks? Wish me luck on that part....we'll see how that goes. J>>> on Forum topic - Symptom, Response, Response
- by: c ur self - What cause's a marriage's to fail so often is there is no US...No human value, and being just a support system, plus the egoistical attitude's toward a spouse are all symptoms of seeking to have a life within a life...I had a wife for many years, (lost to Breast C) and we were an US...There was respect, communication, and there was daily desire to be the One, coming from both of us...There was ownership....We had different likes, and hobbies...But we both loved being the one, the US....There was no hiding...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
- by: J - I've been reading up on this and the effect it's been having on me and I definitely have most of the symptoms. At the very least, my SO has spotted some of them already and has been pointing them out to me without knowing anything about this cycle. The forgetful part especially which has been a source of irritation at times for her. This isn't just normal ADHD forgetful. It's more like spaced out "thousand yard stare" type forgetful with brain fog. Just yesterday for example, at the end of my work day, I...>>> on Forum topic - Symptom, Response, Response
- by: J - to this post later once the ghosts have finished visiting me.>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: honestly - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/... this is a UK charity, sorry - but your English is certainly good enough to read the content here! can I draw your attention to myths 1, 10, and 14 in particular. Alcohol is not an explanation, nor are mental health issues, and it is not a brief loss of control. You also are already blaming yourself (you didn't try hard enough to support him with his issues before). Don't blame yourself- and when someone shows you who they are,...>>> on Forum topic - Rage meltdown ending on physical abuse adhd partner
- by: Swedish coast - Thank you for your thoughts. Yes of course. It's my withdrawal of support that brings out the nastiness in him. I think your wife who seems to have acted egoistically for the most part will show this for the same reason. She has naturally been very lucky to have received all this from you, and her life will be harder now. The blame and depreciation is a bitter pill to swallow, though. Were we just a support system with no human value at all? My husband hasn't been frivolous or taken advantage with joy,...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
- by: J - I'll come back and fix that. Lol>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge
- by: c ur self - Reading you, is like a mirror in some ways...(also I have empathy for you, and respect, for wanting to face all of your feelings head on)...Summing up a lot of what you said in this post and the previous one three days ago...Attempting to simplify what you have stated in these two posts, in my own direct way....(your marriage relationship experience's, along w/ mine and many here) What jumps out overall, is the picture of incompatibility...You talk about your short comings in patience...What I experienced...>>> on Forum topic - Confidence
- by: c ur self - When you type out your title in the top box, then put your post in the second box, it will not print...You have to skip a box and type your post in the 3rd box, titled Body...If you already have it typed in the second box, you can cut and paste it into the body box....LOL....think that's right, it happened to me a time or two....>>> on Forum topic - I am Scrooge